Shipwreck:Murtogg and Mullroy
by meowbooks
Summary: I shall leave this up due to fond memories...Murtogg and Mullroy survive a shipwreck and are rescued by Jack.They join his crew until they can repay him.
1. The Nameless Island

**Disclaimer: **Yes I like so many others do not own Pirates of the Caribbean and its wonderful characters. So far apples, steak, a parrot worshipper, and scared rats have invaded this story. Much obliged if you would read….

**Shipwreck: Murtogg and Mullroy**

**The Nameless Island**

"So...what do you think we should do now?"

"We could start by building a boat."

Murtogg looked around at the small sandbar that they sat on. It was a fourteen paces long and 10 paces wide, pale yellow stretch of sand with a few grey and white rocks, not a tree in sight. There were the remains of a fire that had long since burned out and not much else. He turned back to his friend who had taken off his tricorn.

"I don't think we can. No wood."

Mullroy turned his head to the right and left before nodding in agreement.

"I suspect you're right."

"What should we do now?"

Mullroy shrugged and sighed as he put his hat on.The sun was pouring heat as if it were liquid that stuck to them in their regulation royal navy uniforms. I wonder if it occurred to them to take their jackets off…

Murtogg paused for a moment then broke the silence and the heat of the Caribbean sun: "How did we get here anyhow?"

Mullroy shook his head in disbelief at his friend and gave him an I-can't-believe-you-don't-remember-the-highly-significant-incident-that-landed-here look."Well it goes a bit like this-there was a storm, the boat-"

"Ship."

"Right, ship-hey you must remember you just-"

"Well, it had to have been. That's the last thing I remember, you saying something then I nodded off."

"You weren't even listening?"

"Yes, I was!"

"No you weren't! You just said-"

"I listened until I fell asleep!"

"That proves it! You weren't!"

"No, I heard you, I just wasn't thinking about it seeing as how I was asleep."

"Oh. Well I guess that'll have to do."

"So what happened then?"

"The ship was rocked around a bit, slammed into this big old rock, the boat started sinking and well here we are."

"Where are we anyway?"

"An island so small I doubt it even has a name." There was another moment of silence. Well, not real silence they were surrounded by the ocean, the waves washing onto the small shore of their sandbar.

"You think we should name it?" Murtogg asked breaking the ice-of course there wasn't any real ice, but in the sense that he was trying to strike up a conversation.

"Name what?"

"The island."

"Why would we do that?"

"So it has a name." _Why else?_ Thought Murtogg as he glanced back at his friend. Mullroy raised an eyebrow as if he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Name something just because it hasn't one?"

"Yeah." Mullroy paused for a moment, squinted his eyes in an attempt to block out the glare of the sun, and looked to the horizon."What's that?"


	2. Enter the Pearl

**Enter the Pearl**

"It's a ship!" Mullroy shouted as he stood up to get a better look. Sure enough, its white canvas sails swelled full catching every bit of wind that it could, looking like large monsters that had devoured full meals. He whipped off his hat and began waving it about. "Hey, over here!"

Murtogg squinted at the ship as it sped through the water then shook his head. "You best be careful, we don't know whose ship it is."

"It can't be too much trouble-it's flying our colors!"

"What color?" Murtogg glanced at his red coat then at Mullroy's. "Red?"

"Well, let's see there's red, white, blue –hey that's not what I meant!" He began gesturing towards the flag that fluttered against the blue sky. "There-that-look it's-"

Murtogg looked resignedly at the ship; his face broke into a grin, and began waving his hat around. "Oh, look the British Jack! Over here!"

"Yes, that was what I was trying to tell you…"

"Think we should alert the commodore?" Murtogg asked as he took off his coat and waved it around realizing it was a much more effective way to be seen than his small black tricorn.

"Very funny, he wasn't on the Faithful and even if he was he isn't here is he?" Mullroy reasoned as he glanced at the sandbar they were on- it didn't take all that long. He sighed as Murtogg began jumping up and down, coat over his head before he gave a reply, jumping between every word he said. "Oh-right-I-forgot-Hey-hey-over-here!"

"Why are you doing that?"

"I'm-doing-it-so-they-can-see-us-better!" Mullroy considered his point, nodded in understanding then began doing the same.

It grew larger a faintly familiar sight slid into view, a figure head of a maiden holding her hands up, a dove resting on one of her palms wings spread, the hull of a ship painted black as the sea on a stormy night. It sliced through the clear, crisp, salty water of the Caribbean like a well sharpened sword would through butter. It was smaller than the galleons that that were laden down with gold from the New World, or the ships of the British Fleet. It was swift, designed for out maneuvering and outwitting.

Once it had been guided by a captain that did not deserve his title, or the beauty of a ship that had been marred by his unappreciative care, he had been an ill made match for the grandeur of the ship that had never rightfully been his. Now, as it should have been for the last ten years, at the helm was someone who understood her, who truly cared, who had for too long been deprived of his rightful place and title he had earned in her name.


	3. The Sighting

**The Sighting**

_In the middle of the chaos and banter that was normalcy on the island of Tortuga; one figure was not bickering, shouting, punching, or doing much of anything.His brown boots rested on a tabletop with many cuts and scars-signs of fights long past, he leaned lazily in his chair, leather tricorn pulled over two eyes that, had they been open and alert would reveal the fact they were as brown as the wood beneath his feet. _

_He had the look of a very unusual person, his goatee was braided into two separate braids, a faded apple colored bandana held back some of the dreadlocks and braids of his pitch dark black hair, weaved into it beads and a round object with three tiny things that appeared to be miniscule chains._

_The door swung open with a creak, the one who had just arrived had dark red rose colored hair that was partially covered by her dark blue hat and sapphire eyes that scanned the scene before her. She didn't seem too interested in having a drink. Her face was turned to the owner of the two brown boots…_

"CAPTAIN!You best get a look this!" He opened one eye as the sun flooded in through the open door; the speaker was silhouetted in the blaring light. "We appreciate that you steered us through that storm –bit of a strange thing right now and-"

He stopped as his captain sat up and held up one hand to stop him, he sighed then spoke:

"Are we being attacked?"

"No."

"Is the Pearl sinking?"

"No."

"Are we in mortal, moral, or any sort of danger at all?"

"I wouldn't say so."

"What is then, Oliver?"

His crew was gathered on deck to watch a peculiar sight. Two men were standing on a pitiful excuse of an island jumping up and down waving their red coats like children straining to see a over a crowd. Gibbs tossed him a collapsible telescope, he opened it and put one eye to it to look at them closer and he smiled in amusement. "That's interesting…That's very interesting…"


	4. The Chapter with an Unimaginative Title

**The Chapter With An Unimaginative Title**

He snapped the spyglass closed, another wide smirk flashing, he swirled around to face his crew who were waiting to see what he would do about the two's unexpected appearance.

"Gentlemen-" Anamaria made a loud sound as if to clear her throat. "Apologies-Gentlemen, me lady-"The last word was uttered with a hint of mockery, which caused her to scowl ever more deeply at his confident grin. "- it seems Mr.Murtogg and Mr. Mullroy, two of the king's navy, are a in a bit of a situation-"

"I'm not too keen on it Cap'n-could be a trap." Gibbs suggested, and then took a long drink out of his canteen. "Migh' be more of 'em, Norrington's is set on catchin' you." He nodded as if considering the thought; he turned his eyes to the island where the two were hopping up and down conspicuously, and tossed Gibbs the telescope.

"Not that many places for them to hide then," He pointed out as Gibbs observed their odd behavior through the lens. Silently, Sparrow grinned as Gibbs gave the two a dubious look.

"Aye, what's yer plan o' action?" Jack looked up at some of the newer members of the crew in the rigging; they had agreed to work in return for passage to Charleston, South Carolina. The young boys were gazing incredulously open mouthed at the sight of grown men bouncing up and down as if they were treading across sharp rocks.

"You sailor, what do you think?"

"Me cap'n?"

"Aye."

"I s'pose we ought to rescue 'em…"

"I think that is a wonderful idea. We'll do that." He started to say something, but stopped when he noticed Anna-Maria glaring at him unhappily from the wheel.

"I don't think we should be doing this." She said with conviction. He stared at her for a moment as if this was exactly what he thought she would say.

"Do you really want those two to die out there?"

"No."

"Then why are we having this conversation?"

"They tossed you behind iron and were perfectly set on standing idle by when you had a rope thrown around your neck! Isn't that reason enough?"

"They were following orders, doing what was in their best interest. I see nothing wrong with that." He turned away from her, looked at the expectant faces that stared back at him, then to the others who curiously watched the spectacle "HEAVE TO AND TAKE IN SAILS! LET'S DO OUR GOOD DEED FOR THE DAY!"

The boys who had climbed into the ropes of the rigging were not responsive as below them the deck became a flurry of movement.

"YOU IN THE RIGGING WHAT ARE DOING GAPING AT THEM LIKE ADDLEPATED FOOLS?"

They began climbing down quickly. One of them slipped and began to drop, Jack's dark eyes widened. He shuffled around judging where he would fall then swooped under him. He came spiraling down before toppling his captain over.

Jack groaned, shook his head as if trying to clear it as he sat up. "Alright then?"

The boy gazed up toward the rigging above, shocked that he was. He blinked shook his head as well before stuttering a reply. "Y-ye-yessir."

"Oh good. Get off." His mates helped him up and began ushering unsteadily walking boy below deck. Gibbs began to do the same as Jack staggered around more precariously than even the boy. Jack waved him away.

"I'm no' too sure 'bout that Jack." he replied to his doggedness as he watched him.

"Are we really ever sure of anything? But I am-I assure you-I-WHOA!" He promptly flopped back down onto the deck failing in his attempt to walk. "-am not doing that again."

Gibbs smiled a "knew-that-would-happen" smile as he helped Jack up.

"Next time I try doing something like that…"He searched for something that would stop him from doing whatever crazy idea he would think up. A smile flickered up again as he remembered something. "Next time…burn all the rum…"


	5. We're Saved!

**Disclaimer: **Pirates of the Caribbean does not belong to me. The runaways who are on their way to Charleston, especially the one who fell on Jack, do belong to me. At least until they get to South Carolina.

Oh and yes, this chapter is about the two naval officers who can't swim.

**We're Saved!**

"Oh look I think it's seen us!" Murtogg exclaimed happily. The two ceased their energetic hopping to get a better look at the ship. It had come to a slow stop and the sails were being taken in. "It's stopping!Yes!WE'RE SAVED!"He began dancing around in circles waving his hat. He threw his coat into the air and it quickly attached itself to Mullroy's face.

For the next few minutes while Murtogg ran around happily, Mullroy hobbled around trying to get the unrelenting coat off.

" Who-what-hey-this-HEY!" Mullroy stumbled backward and tripped over a rock.

"We're saved ! We are saved! Saved! Saved!" Murtogg danced and sang loudly while Mullroy rolled around in the sand trying to detach the coat.

"That's great.I need to be saved if it isn't too much trouble!"

"It's a ship! It's a ship! We are saved! We are saved! Saved!Saved-Hey you kicked me!"Murtogg shouted.

"Help me get this blasted coat off!"Mullroy hollered as he continued to tug at his friend's coat.

"You kicked me!"

"You weren't paying the least bit of attention to me!"

"I can't believe you kicked me!"

"What was I suppose to do? Help me get it off!"

"Why should I?"In response Mullroy finally concluded that shouting through a coat wouldn't work. "It's your coat."

"Oh.Well that is a good reason." Murtogg kneeled down and unbuttoned the coat, much to his friend's relief, then put his hat and coat back on.

"Thanks," Mullroy paused as he realized what ship he was looking at. "It's the Black Pearl!"

"WHERE?"


	6. Naval Officers

**Disclaimer**: Yes I do not own Pirates of the Caribbean.In this chapter there are...

**Naval Officers **

He glanced over his shoulder, to the left, then the right, scanning the waters that were empty of all, but the Black Pearl. His eyes rested on it, grew larger, and then were followed by a smile of understanding.

"MR.SPARROW! MR.SPARROW! IT'S-" His greeting was cut short by Mullroy's hat that was shoved onto his face, he pulled it off. "Why did you-"

"Shush! You do realize we can't arrest all of them by ourselves don't you? We better hide!" Mullroy told him urgently as he began digging in the sand with his hands.

Murtogg looked at him as if he had lost all reason and had succumbed to insanity in the Caribbean sun. Which reminded him of the pirate who's attention he had tried to get.

"Good afternoon gentlemen!" He shouted removing his hat in a sweeping motion and bowing deeply as he stood in the approaching rowboat. When he looked up his smile faded as one was looking blankly at the other who was curiously digging in a manner he likened to a dog.

"But they're going to help us!" said Murtogg bewildered by his mate's strange behavior.

"Murtogg, what are we?" Mullroy inquired as he frantically threw clods of sand behind him.

"Hot, tired and-"

"We're suppose to arrest them! What do you think they're going to do when they see us? WE'RE NAVAL OFFICIERS!"

"Real naval officers! Charlie, let's go on their boat!" One of the boys gasped in awe, gaping at them in a way similar to that which he had before; the only difference was the obvious happiness in his voice. Their captain was pushed backwards as the boat tipped precariously. One of the boys had jumped up and begun shouting energetically. The oar Oliver held in his hand clattered to the bottom of the boat.

"Yeah!" Charlie exclaimed standing up and throwing his oar, causing the boat to lurch dangerously once more. Jack was knocked against the boat once again, but managed to snatch the oar before it was lost to the tide. Shaking his head he began rowing himself. A discouraged look leapt onto Charlie's face. "Wait, I can't swim."

"Aw, I can't swim either!"

"How are we going to join the navy?"

"We'll tell them he's Jack-"

"Hold up there! First of all it's Captain, savvy? Second, they don't have a boat-unless of course he's trying to dig it up…" He gave the naval officers a furtive glance then turned back to the boys who had followed his gaze. "Unlikely. Third, they can't swim so you need not worry on that account. Fourth, I appreciate the fact that you are thinking of serving king and country-"

"No, we wanted to join the navy." Oliver said confused.


	7. Apples

**Disclaimer: **Pirates of the Caribbean:The Curse of the Black Pearl and all future sequels do not belong to me.I might be scarce for a bit we're moving and all so I present to you TWO chapters this one and the next one.Right,well last we met it was about naval offiicers today it's about...

Apples

"Why may I ask?" It was all to clear why they shouldn't to him. The navy meant rules, restrictions, and regulations. Their uniforms were unpractical in the tropical weather, punishments were harsh. Some ended up jumping ship and becoming pirates! Why not skip a step?

The reasons he had thought up clearly weren't on their minds. They smiled mischievously and started to list the reasons in conspiratorial eagerness.

"Big hats! Fancy Clothes! Swords! Battling storms! Apples!"

"Apples? What does that have to do with anything?" Oliver said voicing his thoughts, a frown that clearly said he thought it was the stupidest thing he had ever heard.

"Everything!" Charlie said shocked at his friend's dislike of apples. They were delicious weren't they? They were shiny weren't they? What more could you ask for in a fruit?

"That doesn't make any sense!"As Oliver shouted that he thought, _How can apples be everything?What do they have to do with the navy?_

"Well, NOT liking apples is crazy!" Charlie bellowed at his apple-hating former friend.He glared at his apple loathing face and his apple hating frown and his apple colored hair that didn't like apples.

"I never said I didn't like apples!" Oliver gasped astonished that his friend would think so. "I used to eat them all the time with you!"

"Then why did you say they don't make sense?" Charlie challenged if Oliver really liked apples he wouldn't have offended them. He would have said they were the best fruit in the entire world!

Captain Sparrow rolled his eyes as if he could read Charlie's thoughts. Silently rowing and listening to their unnecessary banter.

"I said YOU made no sense!"

"Well you make less sense than joining the navy!"Charlie retorted.

"I thought you WANTED to join the navy!" Oliver said insinuatingly.

"Yeah, well I've decided to become a pirate!" Charlie proclaimed folding his arms.

"Why do a stupid thing such as that? I'm going to be in the navy!"

"Good! Then I'll steal your ship!"

"No you fool! It's-its called-co-com-cam-"

"Commandeering?" Sparrow sighed as rowed. He hadn't realized they would be this troublesome.

"Yes, that's it! See even the pirate-"

"First you insult apples then you insult Captain Jack Sparrow?" Charlie barked, he paused then added venomously "How do you live with yourself?"

Their captain smiled amused and pleased at such a compliment. This apparently was too much for Oliver. He jumped on Charlie and the two began to wrestle with each other, knocking against the boat, scratching and punching, growling in a leonine way.

Wanting to put an end to the scuffle, Jack grabbed one and pulled him away by the back of his shirt. Charlie was prepared to charge, miscalculated and sprang right out of the boat into the water.


	8. I Can't Swim

**Disclaimer:** Same as last.Don't worry I realize this is suppose to be about Murtogg and Mullroy.Their names are in the title and you will see more of them .Just not in this chapter.Sorry.The boys on there way to Charleston are still mine.

I Can't Swim!

"Help I can't swim! Help! Help!" He shouted thrashing about flinging water everywhere.

Oliver wiggled out of Sparrow's grasp and leaned over to the side of the boat.

"CHARLIE, DON'T DIE!"

"Uh, yeah I don't think I was planning on that…Hey are you gonna help or what? HELP!"

"I don't think you'll be needing it, boy." Captain Sparrow said in response as if he were merely bored.

At this Charlie smirked at the adults present as if they hadn't realized what sort of dire situation he was in. _I can't_ _swim and I'm in the ocean. How can they be so annoyed at me when I am clearly was going to die if they fail to do something about it_! He thought to himself indignant.

"Do you want me to die or something?"

"Contradicting a captain? You lads really aren't going to do well in the king's navy…" Without taking his eyes off the boy in the water he continued. "Are they Mr.Murtogg?"

Murtogg and Mullroy were now close enough to hear everything and were exchanging glances .Mullroy nodded to something his fellow naval officer whispered. Murtogg stood up and nodded in agreement "Yes, that sort of thing just won't do!"

Oliver was appalled that they could just stand on their bit of land and think proper procedures were more important than the fact his mate was in the water!

"Well I think it would do if you saved me or something! I can't swim you know! I've been shouting it all day and-"He stopped as Sparrow climbed out of the boat and made his way towards him. "Going to save me now?"

"Like I said you don't need it." Before Charlie could say one more thing he turned him around to face the naval officers who were standing in the water next to him.

"You lied you said they couldn't swim!"

"Actually, this time Mr.Sparrow was telling the truth."Mullroy interjected smiling in amusement. Charlie was past irritation." Then how did you get here?"

"We walked."

"How did you do that?"

Mullroy exchanged a glance with Sparrow, one that probably meant they would think he would have realized by now, he simply wasn't going to drown. After all, as Jack so eloquently put in response to their walking over to him:

"You would think it's not all that hard when you're standing in ankle deep water. At least that's the way I see it."


	9. Singapore?

**Disclaimer**: Murtogg and Mullroy, any characters and ships you have seen from the movie belong to Disney. I hope all of you will forgive me for being remiss in updates. I had a very long writer's block, but I've figured out where I want the story to go.In today's chapter Murtogg has questions about-

Singapore?

"Very Smart! Ha.Ha.Ha" Was Charlie's unenthusiastic sarcastic retort as he pushed his limp hair out of his eyes. He folded his arms as he dripped in angry silence, glaring at all of them as they merely smiled. Jack grinned as he leaned on an oar he had propped up, his three-cornered hat self-confidently crooked on his head. Murtogg leaned to one side to discuss something with Mullroy, who nodded in amusement as his eyes crept over to Charlie's scowl. Oliver sat in the rowboat directly behind them straining to hear what they were muttering in low voices.He burst into laughter.

"He thinks I'm funny!" Murtogg said proudly looking around to see everyone's reaction.

"I think he knows who we're talking about…" Mullroy said trying to be discreet as his eyes darted to Charlie and then quickly drew them away. Oliver had yet to cease his fusillade chortling.

"What are you giggling 'bout? I knew I was in the shallows…"Charlie mumbled unsuccessful in his attempt to sound convincing.

"Bury yourself in the sand! You were scairt as I was!" Oliver laughed as dodged a stone Charlie chucked at him. Oliver sped away as Charlie sprung after him, the lack of island made it necessary for Oliver to be pursued in circles. He kept poking fun at his friend who in turn flung more rocks. It seemed they would be a while before they calmed down.

Murtogg's face fell as he watched the Captain try to follow the two boys' progress with his eyes as they sped past, again and again. It seemed the naval officer had realized something.

"What's wrong?" Mullroy said askance of his expression. His question was answered with one.

"What are-Why are you here?" Jack turned slowly to study the red coated man.

"I would have thought it much more obvious than the reason he-" His kohl lined eyes moved to Mullroy. "- dug that." Mullroy self-consciously began filling in the gap by pushing sand with his feet behind him.

"I don't think it is." Murtogg replied uncertainly as he watched the sand shift into the hole helped along by a sandy black boot.

"Why do think I'm here? Or what would you think I was doing here, if in fact I wasn't who I am?"

"Why wouldn't you be yourself?"

"I think he means if he wasn't Mr. Sparrow, but someone else." Mullroy put in good-naturedly.

"Oh." Murtogg said understanding. Once again Jack found himself insisting that they use the title he felt he had earned.

"But I'm not Mr. Sparrow. I'm Captain- let's all say it together-CAPTAIN-"

"That still doesn't explain WHY you're here."

"I saw two naval officers waving their coats and hopping up and down. I stopped my ship; I rowed out here what does that tell you? It means I've come to rescue you!" He shouted blatantly, something seemed to be wrong as he kept staring at the water behind him.

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" Mullroy asked suspiciously as he straightened his hat.

"That's what I was getting at! Last time he said-" Murtogg turned to Sparrow confrontationally, "Last time you said your name was Smith or-or Smithy if we liked! I bet you haven't even been to Singapore!"

"That's right! He said 'Clearly, you've never been to Singapore.' How do we know that you having been there was true? You're a pirate!"

"That's right, I am! That means that no matter what I say, even if it is the truth, you'll believe it's false, so I shouldn't even bother trying to tell an untruth." He said quickly and confidently. He watched patiently as they thought about it.

"That's true so-so-what does that mean?" Murtogg replied as he turned back to Mullroy who thought about it for a moment.

"Since he's told the truth about that it means he's capable of telling the truth…"

"That doesn't prove he's been to Singapore." Murtogg reasoned.

"It doesn't prove that I haven't been to Singapore." Sparrow countered.

"How do we know we can trust you?"

"If I've been to Singapore or not is irrelevant to the real problem. You don't know if you can trust me. I'm not asking you to, I'm asking you what will happen if I am telling the truth and you decide not go with me."


	10. What's Your Name?

**Disclaimer**: POTC belongs to you-know-who. Today in "Shipwreck: Murtogg and Mullroy" the question is…

What's Your Name?

Night had cloaked the seemingly nonexistent boundaries of the waters in darkness and the cool night air settled over the calm waters. The wind softly pushed the Black Pearl under the countless numbers of twinkling lights in the sky. The moon was full just as it was in the tale that the pirate Captain Jack Sparrow told of his former first mate.

"From this very ship they were slipping into the harbor as the moon turned them into grotesque forms, evil eyes glowing from rotting sockets in its light…"

Those who were not standing watch were gathered closely around him as a lantern cast shadows across his face as he told a tale that he assured them was "Sworn true by many an honest man who witnessed it…"

Mullroy was gazing thoughtfully at the sea in quiet reflection. Charlie slipped away from Captain Barbossa's attack on a New England port to his side. He hesitated for a moment before posing his question. "What's your name?"

"You already know-"

"Your **first** name, mine is Charles your name is-"

Mullroy face became a blank at this simple question; he removed his hat and began fiddling with it, to give himself more time to think. Charlie studied him for a moment. "You **do** have a name?"

"That would be absurd-I have a name!" Mullroy jammed his hat back on his head, caught Murtogg's eye and pantomimed. Murtogg merely shook his head in bewilderment.

"Murtogg! May I speak to you?"

Murtogg broke away from the group reluctantly giving in to his friend's request by ignoring the allure of the enthralling story Jack was weaving.

"There they were circling, like dogs they circled! A sight it was…"

He retreated from the sounds of captivated sea travelers managing not to break the atmosphere. Charlie stole a curious look at his captain, dismally sighing as he waited for the answer to a question he wished he had not asked. He sighed then leaned against one of the masts knowing it would take some time before they came to their answer.

"What is this all about?"

"What's my first name?"

"You haven't used it in a while."

"Well, what's your name? I know I have a different one."

"You don't remember my name!" Murtogg hissed as if it was an offensive sort of thing.

"Shush! He might hear you!"

"It's not my fault you forgot my name!"

"Tell me anyway!" He said urgently.

"We never had to worry about it in the military…"

"You know your name right?"

"This is nonsense Mullroy! We should know our names!"

"Great! Now I think he's heard us! Quick, think up two names!"

"Jack and Ana Maria." Murtogg whispered free of any sarcasm or comical intent.

"We can't use those!"

"Charlie and Oliver."

"This isn't funny!"

"Why do I have to think up both names?"

"I'll think of-I think I remembered your name!"

"What is it?"

"Joseph?"

"Yeah, that sounds about right. Joseph Murtogg."

"Good, that can't be my name then. Angus, that's it!"

"You don't look like an Angus."

"Well, I'm certainly not a cow."

By this point Charlie had inched close enough to the story circle to listen to the intriguing account. With one eye on the two redcoats who were in deep conversation, he managed to hear the last bits of the story before they pulled him away. Both wore triumphant expressions as if they had accomplished a large feat worthy of commendation.

"It's Angus!" Angus shouted pleased he had figured out on his own. You and I both know that he didn't, but we can't exactly tell him that can we? Regardless of whether what he thought was true he was beaming all the same.

"Brilliant. I'm glad we have that sorted out!" Charlie replied in fake appreciation then hurriedly returned to his refuge of friends, Oliver who had apple colored hair and Jonathan or Johnny who had fallen on the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow.


	11. The Bird Knows All

**Disclaimer**: POTC: TCOTBP and all related characters belong to Disney. This chapter is called…

The Bird Knows All

It was cloudy. It wasn't raining. It was grey. It wasn't blue. There wasn't any wind. Not one breath. The sails barely fluttered. They just hung, forlorn and limp. Everything was in order, but nothing worked. Nothing. There was nothing to fix, nothing to clean. Not anymore. You could only swab the deck, secure ropes, check the rigging, so many times.

Weeks. It had been weeks, which seemed to crawl lethargically on and on, since the last wind. They had used the sweeps for a while, but man power had its limits. They were not like the crew that had come before them. They could feel; they could tire.

However, one thing that never seemed to tire, was the Charleston bound boys' bickering. If exhaustion gave their tongues energy; the crew would have undoubtedly wished them energetic.

They screeched and squawked, hollered and bellowed, hissed in whispers when everyone slept. It was about apples, plantains, Cotton's parrot, and Ana Maria's hat, Jack's hat, who could tie a knot the best, why Commodore Norrington always wore a white wig; it seemed to go on and on. When they tired of arguing with each other they argued with Cotton's parrot that proved to be quite good at debates:

"I think ghosts are real." Charlie mused; it had been a random thought at the time. Oliver, who had been telling Jonathan or Jon about how amazing it looked when he fell on the captain, sat up turned around, scrunched up his face in disagreement.

"Ghosts? You believe in ghosts?"

"They're real! Just like apples!" Charlie stated firmly. Jon looked at both of them scream at each other and shook his head. He had to set them straight.

"Actually, there has been no conclusive evidence as to that belief."

"Where do you pick up these things?"Oliver asked as if it was the strangest idea in the world.

"What did that MEAN?" Charlie said dully mouth hanging open like it was the most shocking thing he had ever heard. Recovering his composure he closed his mouth.

"Whatever it meant-Oliver, ghosts **are real **'cause I saw one!"

"You saw a ghost? Yeah, right and the Black Pearl is real."

"You don't think do you? THIS IS THE BLACK PEARL!"Screeched Oliver.

"If you were wondering, I learned that from the parrot!" Jon said quite happily, beaming at the two.

"Oh, that explains it! You've gone mad!" Charlie concluded.

"The parrot? He doesn't know anything!" Oliver scoffed, "He wouldn't know if ghosts were real or not."

"The parrot knows all…" Jon whispered in reverence, as if the bird was the holder of all worldly knowledge and deserved respect.

"Hey Cotton's parrot, Charlie and I have a question!" Oliver hooted in jest, he was amazed when the parrot flew off Mr. Cotton's shoulder and perched on Jon's shoulder.

"Do not deny the parrot's intelligence!" Jon spoke austerely in a low creepy voice. The parrot ruffled its feathers as if it were impatient.

"Uh, right…Well, we wanted to know if ghosts were real…"Oliver said uncertainly as he looked at Jon's warning face.

"DEAD MEN TELL NO TALES! BRAWK!"

---- A Not-So-Quick Thank You---

Murtogg's name was suggested by my cousin, she's been a great help. The last chapter would have been a complete mess if she hadn't looked over it.

Hat's off to you guys who read my story, even though my updates have been slow in coming.


	12. A Pirate's Life for Me!

**Disclaimer:** Pirates of the Caribbean doesn't belong to you or me- unless your one of a privileged few. The last chapter was introducing you to Jon who you saw only once before in "The Chapter With An Unimaginative Title".

This one is finally at the moment when Murtogg and Mullroy decide…

**A Pirate's Life for Me!**

"Look at me! I'm Captain Jack!" Oliver proclaimed in a low voice to Charlie and Jon. His captain's worn tricorn perched on his messy red hair. He walked around in an exaggerated saunter towards the helm; he rested his hands on it. "Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads, Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"

Jon and Charlie exchanged grins, even though it was doubtful that anyone would have glanced their way if they snickered a bit. Their captain was in his cabin undoubtedly looking for his hat. The rest of the crew was equally occupied with one thing or another.

Joshamee Gibbs was sound asleep. Ana Maria was inspecting the ship for what she said was the 1525th time, mind you I'd trust her judgment she does seem to be on top of things. was keeping watch as always and his parrot, which had been named:

"_The All Knowing, Fearless, Courageous, Noble, Kind, Protector of the Black Pearl, Official Speaker for Mr. Cotton, his most colorful-_"

It went on, but I think it is safe to say you don't want this story to be cluttered with it. Predictably, this name was conjured up by Jack Sparrow's first mate Ana Maria.

Joseph and Angus were deep in conversation, not really paying attention to where they were going they wandered closer to the boys.

"I was thinking about something- since Mr. Sparrow saved us that means we're imbedded, in-death-head, indeeded-" Murtogg stopped to think about the proper word.

"Indebted. We're indebted to him for saving our lives." Mullroy supplied.He urged Murtogg to continue.

"Yes, that's the one. We'll have to repay him some way right?" Mullroy nodded in agreement as Joseph continued, "We'll I was thinking we could give him our hats."

"We can't pay him in hats! He already has a hat." Angus remembered it was among his effects when he saved Ms.Swann.

"What about our firearms?"

"We don't have them, storm tossed us around."

"My coat!"

"No, that's ridiculous!" Mullroy glanced at his feet. "We'll give him our boots!"

"I think we'll need more than four boots. He'll need six." Joseph Murtogg calculated.

"Now that I think about it, he already has boots. He doesn't need eight."

"I thought we were giving him six?" Murtogg asked confused.

"He has two boots now, if we gave him six-six boots we don't have-"

"Right, eight."

Jon, Oliver, and Charlie exchanged amused glances. Oliver leaning on the wheel, the infamous Captain Jack Sparrow's hat still perched on head cleared his throat. The two naval officers turned.

"Is that Mr. Sparrow's-" Murtogg began before being cut off by Oliver.

"That's not the point. Why don't you two become pirates?"

"You want us to steal the Black Pearl?"

"No Joe, he means we should join Mr. Sparrow's crew."

"You've never called me Joe before…"

"Excuse me, sorry really I am," Jon interrupted, "I have interpreted the All Knowing One's feather ruffling and he said it's _Captain_ Jack Sparrow."

"How could you interpret feather ruffling?" Murtogg asked. Jon paused and glanced towards the bird.

"That would make sense; we can't save HIS life if we're not there. If we join his crew we'll be there every time he needs saving." What Angus said next wasn't in tune:

"I guess it's a pirate's life for us!"

Everyone groaned at this pitiful pun. Murtogg shook his head, closed his eyes before speaking.

"I can't believe you just said that!"

"What?What did I do?"


	13. Pirate Names

**Disclaimer:** Not mine, not yours, Disney's.

**Pirate Names**

"That was worst than Jon believing the parrot knows everything." Oliver replied quite seriously, as Jon began raving on about the parrot's proper name. "Now if you had at least had it in tune-"

The leather tricorn jumped off his head as a wave of wind washed over him crashing into the sails that sprung full of joy at their reunion. The deck leaped up as those who had been thoroughly tired of relaxing time flung into action. The captain's cabin door exploded open as Jack Sparrow stepped out with only one question.

"Has anyone seen my-" The tricorn perched itself on his head. "-hat?"

Jack broke into a smile as he observed the sails straining to move the anchored vessel. Without hesitation or a barked order the anchor was cranked in. The Black Pearl once again slashed through the warm waters with its eccentric captain at the helm.

"This is our chance! We should tell him! Wait, where did the parrot worshipping boy and his mates go?" Mullroy said askance to Murtogg, but he merely shrugged. Two mops were flung at him. "Hey Joe, who-"

"You're on this ship, you're working!" Ana Maria roared. "I don't think they'll have that much time to chat, but the boys are down by the bilge pumps."

"But the deck is spot-" Murtogg's sentence was lost as Ana Maria gave him a don't-you-dare-question-my-decision-to-make-you-mop glare.

"This is the perfect opportunity to tell him!" Mullroy whispered excitedly as he began to mop.

"Why is it the perfect opportunity to tell him? We have to mop." Joseph Murtogg replied as he pushed the mop along hoping it would move by itself. He had always had an aversion to mops, but he could never figure out why.

"I guess you're right, we don't even have pirate names yet!" exclaimed Angus Mullroy as he ran across the deck with his mop, knocking down a few crewmembers in the process. He ran back towards Murtogg, tried to stop and slammed into the door of Jack's cabin.

"Aye, avast you landlubber! Brawk!"

"It's a bit late for that don't you think?"


	14. Parrots and Cows

**Disclaimer: **Disney will be pleased to know I am well aware of the fact that POTC does not belong to me. I am aware that Angus Steak might not have existed in that time period.

**Parrots and Cows**

"The All Knowing One shall bestow upon you great gifts for this act of rescue! He shall ruffle his feathers in gratitude and praise for your selfless act of rescue from the deepest destitute darkness that is called the bilge!"

"Yeah, the parrot thanks them, sure he does…" Oliver replied. He leaned in closer to the two naval officers. "Used to work for some fancy old lady he did, he just doesn't want to seem like he knows all this high-toned rubbish."

Charlie made disappointed clucking noises at him. "You're about a year younger than Ollie and me here and you're showing off like a cock with his feathers? Big words like that- I haven't heard anything like that out of that old parrot so don't you go on about that again."

"How dare you impertinently insult the All Knowing One! You shall pay for this disrespect!" He chased them up a ladder as they laughed in jest at him.

"They seemed happy." Murtogg observed morosely as they arrived at the bilge. Mullroy looked into the darkness. The two carefully stepped in and lit a lantern, hung it and began searching for rats. Ana Maria had thought they could get in less trouble down here if they were occupied with hunting rats.

"How are we going to ask him now?" Mullroy sighed inhaling the awful odor of bilge water that floated in the air. He grimaced as it crept up his nose. "It stinks something awful down here."

"I'll give up mop hating if it'll get me out of this mess…" Murtogg pledged. Mullroy made a strange face- if it was the reaction to his friend's dislike of mops or the atmosphere we may never know. I'll say it was the latter.

Do you know what bilge water is? If you don't I'll be more than obliged to inform you. No matter how well made a ship was water would undoubtedly seep in and it would seep to the lowest deck of the ship and just sit there. If it wasn't pumped out the hull would rot out.

Then of course the ship would sink, which would lead to other problems that really aren't related to the story. Things like people who don't know how to swim being in trouble, captains shouting about how they had always asked people to stop making holes in their ship, boys pleading parrots to save their lives…

"Stop with all the strange, specific details that oddly enough point to the people on this ship!" Mullroy shouted into the lantern lit space. Murtogg's eyes flickered towards him, and then looked from side to side as if looking for someone that had spoken that he couldn't hear. He spotted a rat and dived for it.

"What strange details? I didn't say anything." He added as he knocked the stuffing out of a rat, acting as though the writer of this story hadn't made that strange paragraph. Angus shrugged deciding that it didn't really matter; there was a strange awkward silence. The rats seized this opportune moment to scurry into safe havens.

"Pirates aren't respectable. They break the law." Murtogg stated randomly.

"But one saved our life so if we're going to be pirates we need new names. Why don't you think of some?"

" Ugly Angus and Judge Joe?"

"You think I'm ugly?"

"No-it's just that I-don't-er-"

"Audacious Angus and Jumping Joe!"

"I like it! So your name is the kind of steak right? Angus steak?"

"I'm NOT a cow!"

-- No real rats were harmed in the making of this chapter.--


	15. Apples and Bad Luck

Disclaimer: Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl belongs to Disney. This chapter includes…

**Apple Denial and Bad Luck**

"_Why_ are we doing this again?" Oliver groaned as he sloppily dipped the mop into the bucket and soaked the planks of the upper deck. Charlie, who seemed much more accommodating to the fact that they had to work, smiled at him as he answered the question he had been asked at least ten times before.

"If we don't keep the boards damp they'll shrink apart."

"What's wrong with that? Less to worry about…She's just the helmsman-helmswoman- all tellin' us what to do…"

"Tell her, then I'll have to listen to parrot boy all by me onesies-"

"Sounds better when _he_ says it."

"Aye, that it does ye landsman!"

"I'm swabbing, you're trying to talk like Gibbs…_Great._"

"Ahhhh, me apple-hatin' friend there be no need for sarcasm durin' this voyage…"Charlie advised.

" _I don't hate apples_!"

"Of course ye would say tha' apple haters 'ave always been unwilling to admit-"

"Admit what? I have nothing to admit! I love apples!"Oliver said raising his voice. At this Charlie gasped, his eyes widening as he stared at his friend. He backed away, his mop clattered to the deck. Quite somberly he croaked weakly:

"No-no- w-what did ya say Ollie?"

"I said I loved apples."

"No one says it like that…"

"Like what?"

"I never thought…this is horrible…you hate apples…"

"I just said I loved apples-"

"It's worst then I thought," Charlie was quite pale as he continued in barely a whisper. "_You are in apple hating denial._"

"You ate that wormy biscuit didn't you?"

" Of all people-my best mate-Oliver how could you let this happen?"

"Let what happen? Nothing happened!"

"Apple hating…"

"I haven't done any apple hating!Charlie, this is crazy!"

"Hating apples…"

"I'll prove it! I love apples! Not loud enough? I LOVE APPLES THEY'RE THE BEST FRUIT IN THE WORLD!" This impulsive act caused everyone to jerk around before returning to whatever they had been doing.

"That proves it…" Charlie sighed shaking his head sadly; slowing his pace he lowered his head. "You are in complete apple hating denial. I'm sorry, but you have to take the first step. You have a problem. Now you have to realize that for yourself."

"I don't have a problem! Come on!" He couldn't believe this- hadn't he said he loved apples? He watched Charlie pick up his mop and begin swabbing sorrowfully while refusing to look at his bright-haired friend. Oliver turned to the others around him.

"Tell him he's crazy! Hello? Anyone? Why aren't you guys speaking to me? You don't believe him do you? There's no such thing as having a problem from not liking apples! Especially since I love apples! So even if there was a problem because of that I wouldn't have it! Hello? I _don't _hate apples!"

_Great, I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean with crazy people or people who think I'm crazy! _Oliver kicked the bucket that held the water he used to swab. It flew up, soared over the ship's rail and landed with a splash into the ocean.

"What's in yer head boy? Its frightful bad luck to lose a bucket, Oliver!" Gibbs exclaimed before he took a rope and tried to reclaim the bucket, alas, the ship was far too speedy to allow such a thing.

"That just makes me feel a whole lot better, Mister Gibbs, thank you for that!"


	16. SAHD

**Disclaimer:** Jack Sparrow, Captain of the Black Pearl, Ana Maria, the first mate and helmswoman, Joshamee Gibbs, second mate, boatswain, and Murtogg and Mullroy are not mine.

The Charleston Boys, the name of the parrot (_The All Knowing, Fearless, Courageous, Noble, Kind, Protector of the Black Pearl, Official Speaker for Mr. Cotton, the most colorful sea faring parrot, the one and only, Percival Parry Cotton)_ and all original ideas contained in this story are mine. Today's edition is…

**S.A.H.D**

The All Knowing One burst off Mr. Cotton's shoulders shot up into the air, dived down at a sharp angle and gracefully landed on Oliver's shoulder.

"Away aloft!" It squawked in support. It eyed him searchingly.

"Sorry, is that you talking or Mr. Cotton?" The bird turned its head, gripped on Oliver's shoulder and flew to Jon's outstretched arm.

"Salutations! You have been sent a message by the owner of the All Knowing One! His sympathies are evident in his eloquent words!"

"Right…" Oliver replied skeptically. "Where were you anyway?"

"Cooking. Here." Jon replied handing Oliver a tin plate. Turning away from him he cupped his hands around his mouth. "LUNCH IN CREW'S QUARTERS!"

Many crewmembers scrambled to the companionway leading down into the crew's quarters and began climbing down. Of course, some had to climb down from aloft, others had to make sure their tools were put away first. The last group was made up of those who had to stand watch; they would have to eat later. The All Knowing One sprung off Jon's shoulders and dived after Mr. Cotton as he retreated down the ladder's rungs.

" So, d'you want to sit next to me down there? Mr. Cotton doesn't really want me sitting next to him all the time- said he can't talk to anyone without Percy."

"That's his real name right? Finally stopped-" Oliver's sentenced came to a halt as Jon glowered warningly at him. "Least you're speaking like you're suppose to."

"Haven't a guess as to what you're talking about." He replied. He pulled a green apple out of his pocket and held it out grinning. "Apple?"

Oliver took the apple, eyed it unenthusiastically, shrugged and he took a bite. He examined the fruit that seemed to be giving him quite a bit of trouble, despite the fact that it was sweet, juicy, and delicious. Sighing, he realized Jon was still there.

"So you believe me?"

"There's no proof. Innocent 'til proven guilty, mate."

**"**Thanks."

"I've never heard of apple hating denial before though…"

" Oh, it's very serious…" Oliver informed him gravely in a hushed voice. He bent closer to a skeptical Jon, he checked to make sure no one was in earshot before continuing in barely a whisper. "Not as nearly bad as S.A.H.D, though."

"S.A.H.D.?"

"Shhhh! Don't say the acronym out loud!" Oliver scolded his eyes darting anxiously around as if there were unseen terrors lurking on the ship.

Things like giant chickens that chucked eggs at people, two headed slugs that slowly crept up into gardens, bunny rabbits that sang songs and liked carrots, floating plates of vegetables that followed you around yelling "EAT US! EAT US!" or even_-_even_ rotten apples_! Oliver shuddered at the thought. Jon who could not read his thoughts found this a very odd thing for him to do when the sun was blazing high in the sky.

"_Sudden _Apple Hating Denial is a random, sudden apple hating that is denied by the person. Almost undetectable to untrained observers. I shouldn't have mentioned it, but as my friend I thought you should know…"

" I thought you said there isn't such a thing as having a problem for not liking apples." Jon distinctly remembered him raving about how there wasn't such a thing. Oliver had recovered from his thoughts of singing bunnies and nodded in agreement.

"There isn't, there is however, a problem from hating apples and denying that you do."

"Ah, right…"Jon answered slowly doubtful that it really existed, even though Oliver sounded like he knew what he had been talking about.


	17. Rat Tales

**Disclaime**r: Disney owns Pirates of the Caribbean, please note I mean the movie, not the actual pirates that sailed in the Caribbean Sea during the Golden Age of Piracy.

Thanks for reviewing guys! I know it took a long time for the last chapter to go up- sorry.

Here is…

**Rat Tales**

Or **Strange Animals**

"MISTER SPARROW! MISTER SP-Wait, you're just that-that boy that fell on him." Murtogg concluded as his head, shoulders and torso emerged out of the square opening that lead from the hold where he had been rat-hunting a moment before. Oliver and Jon stared perplexedly at him, then jumped as Angus' voice materialized from the lower deck through the hatch's opening.

"I need to get up there too you know, Joe! Oh, and it's-"

"_Captain_ Jack Sparrow." And that was the very person that appeared at Oliver's side. The pirate peered down into the square opening, an intrigued look on his face.

" Good afternoon gentlemen! How did you like it?"

"I'm sorry I don't-Oh, the rat hunting! Quite enjoyable actually, I saw this really big one!" Joseph Murtogg indicated a size with his hands that certainly couldn't be used to describe a rat-a cat perhaps not a rat. " Then I jumped on it and I thought I heard little squeaks of encouragement from his mates! He almost stole my hat, but I tugged on it and his little paws let go and-and I thumped him and then he sort of crumpled and I thought he was dead you see-"

"Yes, well I've always wanted to gaze at the soles of your boots for five minutes… Will you climb up please?"

"-but he wasn't so when I crept up on him he jumped on me and then I fell through this cobweb and landed on Mully-his first name is the steak you know-"

"IT IS NOT!" Angus cried irate-okay so not irate-irritated perhaps, not irate, too strong of a word. Yes, he was just irritated, _extremely_ irritated.

"Then the rat tried to bite me and I thumped him again and that time he was really dead-not like before you know when he was pretending. I mean the rat, not Angus-I didn't kill him-"

"I should hope not or else I have a ghost on my ship. Unless of course Angus isn't Mullroy, but some strange stowaway…"

"I'M NOT A GHOST!" Mullroy screeched.

"Oh good, no worries then!" Jack said brightly in feigned relief that a murderer wasn't rambling on about rat hunting stories. Feigned, as Jack had never really thought that talkative Murtogg had done such a thing.

"-this was just after we decided we should give ourselves pirate names-Oh, and by the way-OW! Hey, why'd you do that?" Joseph Murtogg shouted as he looked down at

his friend.

" Not exactly the best way to tell him don't you think?"

"Oh, alright I'm going!" Joe crawled out hurriedly as Mullroy scrambled up and out. The captain stepped back to allow them some room. He pulled out an apple and chewed on it to occupy his time while he patiently waited for them to explain the reason they needed pirate names. He hoped it was only for a lark.

Jon surreptitiously glanced at Oliver, who had long since devoured his apple, at the apple his captain was munching noisily on, then at Charlie who across the desk was sighing sadly, his shoulders slumped as he disappeared down the ladder after Ana Maria.

"Hey, want to go down for a bite?" he asked Oliver who nodded. The two scurried down leaving everyone else behind.

"Right, now that you're up…" Murtogg observed pleased. "More and more came out and ran over everything like a furry moving rug or something and we had to stomp on them and bang 'em on things and we heard shouting so we looked up, but they crawled up on my legs and I hopped around thinking I could shake 'em off and they vanished like-like magic or something!"

" I'm terribly sorry captain, I'm sure you don't want to hear about out silly rat chasing stories."

"Oh no, he's rather good!" Jack assured him waving his hand in an unconcerned gesture as he continued to listen to Murtogg's monologue.

" I said to Mully, 'Where'd they go?' and he shrugged. We started looking for them, lifting up bags and moving barrels around, suddenly, our hats flopped off our heads and slid across the ground into this really shady place," Murtogg demonstrated by creating an imaginary roof over his head with his hands. He took off his hat and looked at it curiously.

"I thought that was an odd thing for a hat to do-" He pointed to his hat and stared wide eyes at the captain who was listening attentively. "-and I particularly like mine so I grabbed our lantern and chased after it and Mullroy was shouting 'Hey! I need that light too! Wait! JOE! JOE!' I stopped and glanced around, looking for the Joe he was talking to and I remembered that was me! Very strange to be forgetting a thing like that right?"

" Well, in the second it took me to figure that out, the hats had gotten ahead of me so I ran even faster! Mullroy ran up alongside me- we saw our hats, pounced on them, lifted them up and the rats started swarming out! You won't believe how many rats poured out of them HUNDREDS!"

" Hundreds you say? Are you sure it wasn't closer to say six?"

"Well, maybe it was ten- but they really swarmed, I mean they startled me so much I dropped my hat!"

"But you both have your hats safe and sound and you gentlemen seem to have survived your tussle with the rats- that's what matters right?"

" I suppose so." Murtogg agreed.

"Good, then you can explain why you need pirates names." Captain Sparrow said interrogatively.

"Ah, that well…Angus?" Joe nudged Mullroy in the shoulder prompting him to explain the situation it was on his insistence that they had come up with them.

"Uh-er- Wait, who's steering the ship?"

"Ana."

"Didn't she go down to eat?"

"She came back up and told _me_ to eat."

"Oh." Mullroy said lamely.


	18. Captain's Reaction

**Disclaimer**: I've changed me mind. The runaways on their way to Charleston will still be mine when they get there. Reminiscing, attempts at distraction, and blurting out things happen in this chapter. This is a chapter that is partly, but not entirely about…

**The Captain's Reaction**

" Well, let's have it. Why are you two up here?" Jack said seriously, as he studied the two, the interest he had focused on listening was now set on peering at them with his dark kohl lined eyes.

Strange communication erupted between the two self proclaimed pirates:

Jumping Joe slowly turned to Audacious Angus, glanced at Mr. Sparrow and began opening his mouth. Angus widened his eyes and slightly shook his head; Joe promptly closed his mouth.

Angus tilted his head backward to one side slightly, indicating a small boat that was secured next to him. He grabbed his hat off his head, snatched Joe's, knelt down and made motions with them that looked as though he was trying to light something. Joe's face lit up and he beamed at Jack.

"The _Faithful_ sunk and after that Mully said we floated on this little wooden boat until we crashed into the sandbar and when the ocean stopped dumping water on us and we dried up a bit we burnt the boat for fire wood-"

"You _had_ a boat and you _burnt_ it." Jack Sparrow momentarily lost all thoughts concerning pirate names.

"It was cold." Elaborated Joe.

" Cold? Oh yes, that makes much more sense."

" You know actually it doesn't-if we hadn't burnt it we could've escaped." Mullroy added confirming Jack's suspicions: if he was daft these two were infinitely more so.

"Oh, yeah! I hadn't even thought about that!" Murtogg mused. "That's right clever."

"Thanks! That's why I was telling you not to light it up-"

"Then I said 'Much warmer isn't it Mully?'"

"Yeah, I think I forgot about all that until now…" Murtogg replied looking as if had been the best shipwreck he had ever been he sported a dreamy look in his eyes and a vacant expression. Murtogg, having observed this, waved his hand in front of his friend's face looking for any small reaction. Mullroy quickly batted Murtogg's hand away.

"Oh, do you remember when I was seasick that one time?"

"Yeah, you threw up on Commodore Norrington…"

"You think that's why I had to peel all those potatoes?"

"I think he took it rather well, if you had done that with Gillette he would've thrown you over board."

"Nah, he's not that mean. The worst he's ever done was that time he tried to lock us in that storage room at the fort. We hadn't secured a cannon or something…"

" I thought we peeled apples that time."

"No, that is what we peeled when _you_ set the galley on fire."

"_Almost _set it on fire, Joe, I never set the galley on fire."

" Do you remember the time you said the Black Pearl wasn't real?"

"Yeah, I was right too…"

"Uh, no you weren't."

"You gentlemen wouldn't by any chance remember what use you had for pirate names do you?" Jack said in an inconsequential tone.

"Of course, we remember! We wanted to join your crew!" Murtogg replied happily answering his query with a grin. Mullroy smacked himself on the forehead.

"Join my crew? Why exactly would you want to do that?"

"So we could be pirates! We're indeeded- imbedded- in-death-head, indebbied-"

"Indebted…" Mullroy supplied once again to his friend, though much more reluctantly and out of annoyance than the last time he had failed to pronounce the word properly.

"Right, that-to you." He beamed at the captain before turning to Mullroy. He saw his friend's face and thought for a moment as to why he had that a look as though someone had did something so ridiculous that he was speechless. Who could have done such a thing? "I did something again didn't I?"

"Yes, you did."

"What did I do?"

" You made it necessary for me to make an announcement." Jack replied as he descended the ladder to the lower decks. "Gentlemen, if you would be so kind as to accompany me below deck."


	19. An Announcement

**Disclaimer**: You do know I don't own the Pirates of the Caribbean films and rides right? You do? Thank goodness. A slight nod to Mr. Gibb's superstitious nature, more blinking in disbelief and Murtogg saying something is in this chapter. Oh, and yes this chapter has…

**An Announcement**

"May I present to you-" Jack began. Murtogg and Mullroy entered from the upper deck still trying to figure out why the Captain of the Black Pearl had to make a sudden announcement. "-the newest of our crew members!"

Silence. Blinking, glances, and shrugs were passed. He hadn't just said that-had he? He _could not_ be serious. What sane person would let those two join their crew? The royal navy letting them was one thing-they didn't exactly meet the people they let join. A pirate ship-the _Black Pearl_ for goodness' sakes-was a completely different matter. Marty, who wasn't exactly the tallest member of the crew was the first to recover from the announcement.

"You can't make them-they-" Gibbs bent down and whispered something in his ear, Marty nodded. "It's bad luck to let ex-naval officers join a pirate crew!"

Jack studied him for a moment and considered what the vertically challenged pirate had claimed. "It is?"

The room was suddenly noisy with murmurs and exclamations of agreement, nodding, and whispers of what a great idea that had been. Some of them discreetly thanked Gibbs for his idea, by patting him on the back, whispering their gratitude. They didn't really want the two men who were frowning slightly near the ladder-like stairs to become permanent residents on their ship.

"Well, I for one don't wish any bad luck on the Pearl." There was a large sigh of relief. "When we get to Charleston six people on this ship will depart."

"Surely you mean five, Captain." Gibbs asked.

"No, six."

"Three plus two is five. There can't be any mistakin' it."

" Three former naval officers and three boys. Six."

"Three? I don't know any other former naval officers besides them." Gibbs indicated the two near the ladder-like stairs. Jack fixed his eyes on Gibbs.

"I think you do."

"Who?"

"You." Gibbs was stunned. He hadn't thought about that. Gibbs opened his mouth to protest. Jack smiled in a characteristically roguish way.

"I know. It isn't bad luck."

He strode towards Murtogg and Mullroy, stopped and turned to face the crew. "Are their any other objections?" No one spoke. "Wonderful, then I see no reason as to why they shouldn't be allowed to join if they so wish."

"Mister-_Captain_-Captain?" Jack searched for whoever had the objection in front of him. There it was again.

"Mr. Murtogg?"

"What about Ana Maria?"

"I already know what she's going to say."

"What is she going to say?"

"No."

"What if she was going to say 'yes'? Shouldn't we ask her first?"

"But I know she'll say 'no'."

"How do you know that's what she'll say?"

" I think I've known her long enough to know what she'll say."

"I still think we should ask her."


	20. Where's Ana

**Disclaimer**: I originally had this part of the last chapter, but I thought it had nothing to do with the announcement. Today's edition of "Shipwreck" has Charlie asking…

**Where's Ana?**

" You think we should still ask her. Does anyone else think we should ask her?"

Mullroy slowly raised his hand and grinned half-heartedly as if expecting this simple act to unleash hordes of furry rats that would try to steal everyone's hats- and left shoes.

"Fine." Sparrow sighed reluctantly. "Charlie? Where's Charlie?"

A tall lanky fellow with a long nose and brown hair rose off a crate he had been sitting on and slipped in front to answer his Captain's call. Jack frowned rolled his eyes and held out his hand to stop him.

"No, not you Charles, the _other_ one-the short one." Charles trudged back to his crate. Charlie pushed through the assembled seamen to the front. "Yes sir?"

" Kindly ask Ana Maria if she would like Mr. Murtogg and Mr. Mullroy to join our crew." Charlie glanced around the room as if searching for something, then at Jack who was gazing intently at him.

"Now?"

"Yes, _now_." He didn't move. "What are you waiting for?"

"Where is she?"

"Am I steering the ship?"

"No, you're right here and the wheel thing is up there." A few more seconds of anticipating Charlie's departure passed.

"Why aren't you gone?"

"I still don't know where she is."

"Let me put it this way, who steers the ship when I'm not."

"Ana Maria."

"Good, go ask her."

"I can't. I still don't know where she is."

"Charlie? Can I talk to you?" Oliver who had appeared suddenly turned away from Charlie to face his captain. "Please excuse us, we'll only be a moment."

After getting a consenting wave he pulled Charlie aside and held him by the shoulders.

"You don't know where Ana Maria is." Charlie said slowly and clearly as if Charlie was an inarticulate, slow thinking animal or some thing that was small and couldn't understand anything.

Something like an apple. It's a delicious fruit, but it's incapable of simple thought processes. It can't hate vegetables, sing along with mutant bunnies to theme songs, and run away from things that shouldn't be alive- like undead pirates and vampires. You know, important things that everyone should know how to do.

"You _do not_ know where Ana Maria is." Oliver continued. "How can you not know where Ana-"

"I get it! You can't believe I don't know where she is because to everyone else it is the simplest and easiest thing imaginable! Now I'm starting to annoy everyone! Is that it?"

"Basically…If Ana Maria is steering the ship she has to be at the…" Oliver looked at Charlie expectantly. Charlie waited and waited and waited. Nothing.

"Aren't you going to finish your sentence?"

"No, _you're_ suppose to do that." Oliver said exasperatedly. Charlie looked at him what he thought was this: _Ollie can be so strange sometimes! How would I know what he was going to say? Apple Hating Denial must have addled his brains…I wonder if that's what got the Captain walking funny…Oh, now Ollie's looking at _me _funny! Oh, right I haven't said anything yet…_

"How would I do that, Ollie, huh? I can't read your mind."

"Where would she have to be if she steering the ship?"

"Who's 'she'?"

"Your dog Betsy-who do you think? Ana Maria, you know the one with really long hair that we were just talk-"

"She's at the wheel thing!" Charlie answered._ Ollie's just being annoying. He's talking like I'm stupid or something. He's an annoying, stupid, apple-hating, evil vegetable liking, brain-addled, bilge rat who…_

Oliver, who unlike us could not hear Charlie's thoughts, couldn't understand why Charlie wasn't moving to the 'wheel thing'. " Aren't you going now?"

Charlie snapped out of mentally insulting Oliver. "Wha-Oh, right the asking her if she wants-"

"GO!"

"I'm going!" Charlie huffed. He stomped past the captain, grumbled up the ladder-like stairs, grudgingly dragged himself to the helm, snapped at an astonished Ana Maria who wasn't usually snapped at by boys, and slid back down the ladder.

Murtogg, who evidently hadn't been paying attention, smiled at Charlie as he descended the stairs, piped up and asked brightly:

"What did she say?"

"She said NO!"

After everyone had finished eating Mullroy finally built up the courage to ask a question he had been mulling over in his head. He stood up from his seat and located the infamous pirate captain, Jack Sparrow. Mullroy found him trying to listen to Jon's explanation as to why it was indeed plausible that Percy held all knowledge. Mullroy took a deep breath and made a coughing noise. The two conversationalists turned at the exact same moment.

"Sir, why didn't you just tell Charlie where Ana Maria was?"

"That _would_ have saved time," Jon added as he pondered Mullroy's question. Jack smiled reflectively, nodded once in agreement, and decided there was no reason not to tell them.

"Yes, it would have saved time, but I had hoped that he would've figured it out. I didn't think that he would be so…"

"Oblivious to subtlety or hopeless at tacit?"

" Well phrased, Jon. I was merely trying to prove he wasn't -"

"Daft?"

"No. I was trying to prove he was smarter than that."

"Didn't go as planned did it?" Mullroy concluded.

"Flopped like a fish."


	21. What Now?

**Disclaimer**: The Parrots of the Caribbean, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Muppet Treasure Island belong to Disney. I like this chapter. There are more apples, another rat, more Ana Maria, Murtogg and Mullroy, Jack Sparrow and the Charleston Boys! This chapter is titled…

**What Now?**

_What now?_ Ana Maria looked up as if blaming the sails above her head. She had heard the now familiar chatter of the two men. She turned her dark eyes to the self-proclaimed pirates who were animatedly conversing.

Murtogg was beaming happily as he climbed up from the lower decks. Once he had emerged from the opening he walked backwards to keep eye contact so as not to interrupt their discussion. Mullroy who was carrying a gray, bulging sack, followed Murtogg. Ana Maria spoke in a less than pleased voice.

"I thought you two were hunting rats."

"We were!" From Murtogg's outstretched hand hung a limp, gray, furry creature by its wormy tail. Ana Maria's eyes traveled over the gray thing, and then were eye level with Murtogg's smiling ones. Her strong gaze seemed to be searching for a drop of mischievousness in his.

"Why are you two here?"

"We know you don't like us… So we decided to give you a token of our friendship in the hopes that eventually you won't hate us, but dislike us!" Mullroy explained setting his sack down, it opened slightly to reveal it was full of apples.

" I don't hate you two- I think you're annoying."

"Then in the hopes that you'll think we're only slightly annoying!" Mullroy said brightly he motioned to Murtogg to give her their gift. Murtogg nodded, took off his hat and dropped the rat in before presenting it joyfully to Ana Maria. She took the hat thinking it would get rid of them faster.

"What were the apples for?"

"Oh, these…Oliver wanted us to bring them. Mister Spar-Captain, suggested he eat one to prove he doesn't hate apples. That would mean he couldn't be defying-denying he hated them or something…" Murtogg clarified.

"Why didn't you just bring an apple instead of carrying a whole sack of them?"

"You mean I didn't have to haul all of these up here?" Mullroy exclaimed waving towards the apples.Ana Maria shook her head, pulled the rat out of Murtogg's hat by its tail and examined it closely before tossing it over her shoulder.

It shot onto Charlie's face and he began screaming, dropped to the ground rolling, wiggling trying to get it off.

"AHHHHH! IT GOTS ME! GET IT OFF! HELP! HELP!" Oliver scrambled to find something-anything to help him.

"Where is it? Where is it?" He snatched a mop and whirled this way and that searching for the 'it' that dared attack his friend.

"It's on my face! MY FACE!" Oliver began mopping Charlie's face, trying to swat it off. It skidded across the deck and landed near the captain's cabin door. Murtogg wanted to help-he turned to Mullroy.

"We've got to do something!"

"Whadda we do?" They spotted the sack of apples.

"ATTACK!" They howled pelting the dead rat with apples. Meanwhile, Charlie still thought something was attacking him.

" YAHHH!" Charlie ran-arms waving frantically trying to bat an invisible foe off- into the foremast. "Owwww…"

Charlie stumbled back, rubbing his head, swaying precariously he landed on the deck moaning about a "…stupid pirate ship…."

"What? Is it on there?" Oliver began mopping the foremost mast. Murtogg and Mullroy hurled apples that bounced off the mast and pounced on Charlie's head.

"YOWL!"

"Did-did I get it?" Murtogg asked excitably looking everywhere for the thing he had hit.

"You got _me_!" Charlie was instantly slammed by another apple-which launched him back into screaming hysterics.

_What now?_ Jack opened the door to his cabin; he had heard frantic shouting and pounding noises. Charlie was running around in circles wailing about something, Oliver was banishing a mop at a mast, and Murtogg and Mullroy were throwing apples.

Jack yanked Charlie up by his collar uprooting him from his panic induced insanity.

"HEY- Oh, hello Cap'n." Charlie greeted him sheepishly, a small attempt at a smile on his face.

"Hello. Charlie, can you explain to me _why_ you were running around like a cockroach?"

"Oh-um-something attacked me, sir." He replied meekly as he dangled from his shirt collar, not meeting his Captain's eyes. Jack set him on his feet. Striding over to Murtogg and Mullroy he observed their apple throwing for a few seconds.

"You're wasting precious fruit! Cease fire! Pick them up-I want everyone of those apples retrieved and if one's missing-"

"Understood, sir." Mullroy said. The two were standing up straight saluting a _pirate_ captain. Jack inspected them scrutinizing them closely, adopting a military affectation, hands clasped behind his back; he lost his usual sway and loose manner. The rest of his crew watched incredulously, they kept their distance as Oliver was still madly attacking the mast and invisible attackers with a mop.

"We're on a pirate ship-we don't salute on a pirate ship." Jack said sharply. Their hands went down. Jack smiled roguishly abandoning his outward show, considering the advantage he had if only for a moment, before picking it up again.

"Permission to speak." Murtogg requested officiously. Jack gave his consent with a curt nod. "Permission to give Cabin Boy Oliver an apple, sir. He needs an apple to prove he has no aversion to them, Captain."

"Permission granted. At ease." Murtogg and Mullroy stood less stiffly. "Pick up those apples." Murtogg dropped an apple in his hand before scrambling around doing the task assigned to them. Dropping his stiffer manner he stopped Oliver's attack mop with one hand.

"Oliver, it's not very nice to swing a mop around-you could hurt someone." Jack admonished as Oliver lowered his mop slowly turning the same color as his hair. Evidently, he realized that swooping, twirling, slashing, banging and poking thin air-among other things like buckets and his mate's face- with a mop wasn't exactly…necessary.

"Sorry, Cap'n." Oliver said staring at his feet. He chanced looking up and was surprised to find an apple offered to him. He was puzzled for a moment, but took the apple anyway.

"What's this for?" He asked turning it over in his hands.

"I seem to recall you mentioning that there was 'no such thing as having a problem from not liking apples'."

"There isn't."

"Especially since you love apples, correct?" Oliver nodded in confirmation.

"Why don't you prove it to him then?" Jack said nodding towards Charlie who was assisting Murtogg and Mullroy in their apple picking.Oliver began walking towards him, he stopped to ask the captain a very important question.

"Was this on the ground?"


	22. Confrontations

**Disclaimer:** Pirates of the Caribbean is not mine. I think this is a wonderful opportunity to thank you for continuing to read this story. I really appreciate it. :) I've been scarce, so I apologize for that. In this chapter there are two…

**Confrontations**

_Was it on the ground?_ Jack whirled Oliver towards Murtogg, Mullroy, and Charlie and pushed him towards them. Oliver took a few steps, paused, and turned his head to look over his shoulder at Jack, who waved two hands at him in a manner that suggested he was an annoying little puppy being sent out.

"Charlie?"

Charlie, who had been throwing dirk sharp, looks at Murtogg and Mullroy's disregard for proper apple care paused to glance over his shoulder. After seeing it was Oliver he drew his eyes away and continued carefully placing each apple he retrieved in the sack. "Haven't said it yet, have you? Can't help you much if you won't admit it."

"Charlie…Come on, just look at me!" Oliver pleaded.

"Not doing anything." He replied stubbornly. Oliver did the only thing he could think to do in this situation: He bit into the apple with a loud, blatant, crunch. Charlie head bobbed up. "Y-you-you're eating an-an apple!_ You do love apples_!"

Oliver was bit disappointed. He had expected Charlie to leap off the deck, throw his arms around his neck and start apologizing for everything. For the way he hadn't spoken to him for days, that he hadn't believed him, that he ever doubted his adoration of apples and for being a complete idiot at times.

" 'You do love apples'? Is that all you can say?"

"Do you forgive me for ever doubting you?"

"Aye."

"Eye?"

"Yeah."

"Why'd you say eye?"

"What d'ya mean? I was answering your question."

"_No_, you said 'eye'."

"What was I suppose to say-apple?"

"Don't mind if I do!" Charlie grinned he took Oliver's and munched happily on it. Oliver looked up as if blaming the sails above his head. "_No_ _Charlie_-I meant-"

"Oh, what were you saying?"

" I said 'Apple?' then you-"

"No thanks, I had one already."

"You can be so _stupid_ sometimes." Oliver sighed in frustration. His eyes widened and a spark of comprehension roared into a campfire in Charlie's brain."When you said 'eye' did you mean 'aye' as in 'yes'?"

"YEAH!" cried Oliver exasperatedly.

"Don't need to get so worked up about me forgiving you."

Oliver's astounded reply that surely would have reaffirmed how stupid Charlie could be was lost as another exasperated I-can't-believe-you-didn't-do-something voice echoed on the main deck of the infamous Black Pearl. "NO ONE TRIED TO STOP IT?"

"What?"

"Not you Oliver, _them_." Sparrow nodded towards the crew of the Black Pearl all of whom had stopped the miscellaneous tasks and duties they had been attending to or _hadn't_ for some strange reason, been attending to. To say every single member of his crew stopped working would be preposterous, if no one was on the look out or steering the ship, or watching for sea slugs and sirens that would surely lure the men on the ship to their very doom they would be a very foolish lot indeed.

"Ye were sayin' that we hadn't stopped-ah- 'it'?" Gibbs said slowly, "What exactly did ye mean by 'it'?"

"Gibbs what do you think _it_ could possibly be?" Jack groaned. "The apple pelting, the broom banishing, the bellowing at the top of his lungs and scurrying 'round in circles-that's what _it_ is."

Gibbs frowned," What were we suppose to do?"

Jack looked as though he wanted to hit him over the head with a pillow filled with mud. Instead, he turned to the next available crewmember who had stopped what she was doing."Ana Maria."

"Aye?" Jack shot Gibbs another I-want-to-hit-you-with-mud look before flexing his fingers as if itching to do it on the spot. He paused and asked Ana,"What do you say would be a favorable answer?"

"Try to stop it."

"Yes, well...why didn't you do that?"

"Am I a governess? Why should-"

"Where was Gibbs?"

"_I don't know_!"

Jack was on Gibbs again in a second."Where were you-Joshamee Gibbs-on the moment in question?"

"I was below decks…"

"Why would you be there?"

" Er-I was..."Gibbs looked around as if searching for a handy answer fluttering through the air that he could use. "-uh-distracted-"

" You were _distracted_ with something much more in'tresting I imagine, than say screams, airborne apples, and dead attack rats?"

"Far as I can figure…"

"And you were…"

Gibbs hesitated, "Mending a few things…"

"Surely there's more to it than that. What were you mending?"

Gibbs looked guiltily at his shoes, turned, disappeared down the hatch to the hold and clambered back up with a grubby looking sack. He held it out. Jack frowned as he scrutinized Gibbs. He stretched one hand toward it as if hesitant to touch it, then pulled it away. With one more glance at Gibbs he tugged on the drawstring, reached for what was inside and-stared at the brown, crumpled mass of cloth with one large slash that had been partially stitched up. It was his coat.

"Who did this?" A whistle broke the air, everyone looked up and with a flutter of wings the parrot started to sing: "How fare ye?'said the peg-legged brute. The boy jumped up wi' holler and hoot: 'Fine as can be! Yes sir,' said he! Who was the boy an' who was the brute? Why _Jonathan_ Green and Ol' Man Soot!"

Jon's jaw dropped open in shock and he gaped at the bird who sat as calm as a mother hen above him. "_He can sing_?"

Jack was silent as he walked away. Jon imagined he was going to fetch some horrible form of punishments like-like-something horrible! He followed him.  
"Please, Cap'n I didn't mean to! I was helping the carpenter and it just happened! Don't put me in the brig or keelhaul me or-" beseeched Jon. Jack led him down with a lantern in one hand and the other on his shoulder.

"_Keelhaul_ you?"

"You _are_ a pirate…" Jon pointed out.

"Well despite what you may have heard most pirates don't take too kindly to that sort of thing," Jack brought out a small bag and held a needle and thread out. "Here."

"But I can't sew!"

"Than I rather you practice on somethin' else before you start on my coat."

"So-so you're not-"

"No, I'm not."

"Oh, thank you!" Jon called gratefully. Jack scrambled back up the stairs, leaving him the lamp. Before the hatch door was closed Jack poked his head in and said, "And before I forget you're keepin' watch with Jumping Joe and Audacious Angus."

"What? No-wait-come back-please don't make me! I did it, I know I did-but – let me do two watches-just not with those two!"


	23. Carolina Confirmation

**Disclaimer: **Everything from the movie belongs to Disney. The parrot and two naval officers' names, the three boys and the plot belong to me. In this chapter there is a...

**Carolina Confirmation**

" Jack Sparrow-"

"Captain, if you please." The official shot him a customary annoyed look that usually crossed prim, rule abiding citizens of high stations who were being extremely stupid. I'm sure you agree that wearing layers and layers of clothing on a summer day in one of the southern American colonies governed by England is stupid, right? But I digress.

The official continued to be boring by declaring a bit more. It was, as to be expected, given in the usual manner of men who announce dreary, unnecessarily formal and fancily worded charges to people who have been convicted of a crime and to any person who strangely wanted to fill their afternoon by watching dreadful punishments:

"Jack Sparrow, you have been found guilty of numerous transgressions against the crown. The most evil of which are acts of piracy, imprisoning a cleric, looting, arson, commandeering of a ship of the fleet, sailing under false flags, kidnapping, resisting arrest -"

" Wrong order!" The guards, the people, and the hangman who had been nodding off gave dramatic upward jerk of their heads as they ceased to be bored out of their wits.

" I was reading here!" scolded the official throwing down his hat.

"But he stole the Interceptor _after_ resisting arrest!" insisted the townsman.

" I was getting to the good part and-and you blurt out like that?"

"It was the _wrong _order!"

The hangman dully shifted his gaze from one person shooting an argument to the other.

"Hello?" Jack tried to raise a hand to get their attention, but seeing that his hands were bound together, raised both of them. "Man 'bout to be hung could escape now…"

"Who cares about the blooming order?" the official said squinting down at the townsman. "He did it!"

"You have to do in order!" bellowed the townsman he walked up the steps of the gallows to scream in the official's face

"I do not!"

"You do!"

"I don't have to and you can't tell me what to do!"

"The prisoner is escaping…" Jack said waving his bound hands, "oh, look-I'm walkin' past you…"

"Yes, yes you do! They always do it in order!" spat the townsman ignoring Jack who hung his head in frustration. Jack took a step towards freedom, looked at the guards who were watching the squabble, jumped down from the platform and stared at them for a moment waiting for them to do something…anything?

"Blah-blah-la-you are being ridiculous!"

"_You_ have it wrong!" said the townsman shaking his head, "Order is very important!"

"Order? Where's your sense of fun?"

"It's not about fun!"

""I'M ESCAPING!" yelled Sparrow deliberately.

"The other bloke didn't do in order so I shouldn't have to!"

"There's procedure! There has to be order!"

"Look, it's _Captain Jack Sparrow_, someone get him! Guards-get me! I'm the _bloody pirate_!"

"What?" said the guard as if in a daze. "Oh, right-you two he's-er-"

"Escaping. Yes, we know that! GET ME!" He pointed at himself.

"What's chronicle got to do with it?" shot the announcer-official.

"_Chronological_!" corrected the townsman.

"That's it, I'm gone!" Captain Sparrow untied his hands with his teeth and tossed the rope aside. "You lot happy now? What's the point of _practicing_ an escape plan if _no one does what he or she is supposed to do_?"

" I WAS NOT NAMED AFTER A STEAK!" roared Angus Mullroy the 'announcing official'.

"I never said anything about your name!" Murtogg shot back.

"SHUT UP!" cut Sparrow eyes flashing as he jumped between them. The two instantly quieted. What he said next was in a incensed whisper "You two are like those goat things- ramming yer heads together-you're annoying- and you're annoying-_but together_ yer infuriating!" Murtogg gulped. Jack regaining some of his composure swiveled towards Gibbs.

"What sort of guard lets the pirate right past him? Hm?" Jack bent down to look the two other guards in the eye. "And you two said you wanted to join the navy?"

"We used to…" Charlie whispered timidly.

"Have you changed your minds? Pity, it would've made my life much easier if I could do that."

"OY, SPARROW!"

"_What-_Ana?"

"Charleston."


	24. Let's Go

**Disclaimer: **A belated Happy Thanksgiving! Now onto business: I disclaim Pirates of the Caribbean. Today's edition of Shipwreck:Murtogg and Mullroy features a change of mind towards one Percival Cotton...

**Let's Go**

I could go into a lengthy, explanatory paragraph in which you witnessed all of what happened after Ana informed all on the _Black Pearl _that Charleston was near enough for all to see. If I had done that I would've used verbs, adjectives, adverbs, and articles. I'm sure you're tired of reading stories written in the same manner _every single time _as if a pirate had filched writing styles. I have said I will not guide you scene-by-scene, what I will do is present you with the following conversation between Charlie, Oliver and Jon.

" S'not fair!" Charlie grumbled setting his chin on his folded arms that were rested on a ship's rail. " 'You two have to stay 'til we get back.' We're _pirates_! Ne'er do wells and the like-we should-we should-er-"

Oliver hadn't had such a notion to that effect. "_We're pirates_?"

Charlie gave an exasperated sigh,"We have a pirate captain, we're on the Black Pearl, we have a pirate parrot-"

"Who won't stop fluttering! SHOO! Get!" hollered Jon swatting at Percy with one hand as the bird attempted to grab his shoulder. "Off with you-you ol' stinky fancy rat!"

_Rat_? Oliver mouthed giving Charlie a conspiratorial look. Charlie nodded feeling considerably more cheerful he shouted, "No more 'All Knowing One' talk?"

"He's a rat," Jon reaffirmed giving him another wave of his hand "- squawking- no squeaking secrets all over the deck like sea water-what else could he be? GO!I renounce all ties with you-"

"Okay, so we have a pirate ship infested with colorful flying rats. D'ya think we're pirates yet, Ollie?"

"Alright. Oh, did you see that?"

"See what?"

"Look-right there-"

"I don't believe it!"

"It's a whole cartful-"

"_Apples_!" The two gasped as a cart full of them rushed by.

"We should-we should- what should we do?" stammered Oliver.

"Buy some!" exclaimed Charlie.

"But-but – we have to '_stay here and try not to do anything stupid'!" _sputtered Oliver as he helplessly watched the cart disappear.

"Awww, look at it-we can't even swim to it!" Charlie moaned. Jon who was still struggling and batting at the parrot decided to be helpful:

"We-STOP-docked-OW -OW -thirty-HEY-minutes ago! Stop it! You're getting feathers in my eyes! Where's Cotton?" Jon swiveled around to look for him with a shout, "_You're not getting my shoulder_!"

"Let's go!" Oliver sprung up and dashed across the gangplank with Charlie tailing behind. Leaving Jon to fight the parrot who refused to be separated.

"What are ya tryin' to-ow-ow- let go of my ear! Stupid bird! Watch where you put that be-ACK! MY EYE!" Mr. Cotton burst in between the bird and the boy, grabbed Percival Cotton, held him close and stroked his feathery head. He fired a reproachful look at Jon who was holding a hand over his left eye.

"Brawk! Bilge rat!"

"He-he-tried to gorge my eye out!"

" Bilge water! Brawk!" scolded the parrot for Mr. Cotton who stomped angrily down into the galley.

"I hope I won't have to wear an eye patch…"


	25. The Flight of Mr Cotton

**Disclaimer:** The Pirates of the Caribbean the franchise does not belong to me.The Charleston boys, the parrot's name, and the plot are mine. On another note the POTC: Dead Man's Chest trailer is online now! Today's edition of Shipwreck:Murtogg and Mullroy is...

**The Flight of Mr. Cotton**

"Where'd everybody go?" It had become very quiet. No squeaking rats, squawking parrots, quarrelling Charlie and Oliver, barking Ana Maria, tale-telling Gibbs, shouting Captain, it was strange to think no one was on the ship. _Wait-no one?_

Fear rose like a thick cloud of smoke swirling into the sky and Jon had just begun to choke on it. Jon whipped his head around-hand still clamped over his eye-left, right, and tilted towards the rigging, down into the dark passage to the cargo hold and the galley. Hadn't Cotton just gone down? Why wasn't he there?

_Oh, duck feathers…_Jon thought worriedly pacing around in circles, _Oh, feathery, fluffy, white, duck feathers! I'm alone. I'm-_

"What was that about eye patches?" wondered a voice. Oh good, someone was there.

He wasn't on a deserted pirate ship, hundreds of miles away from home, where sea gulls and pelicans could potentially discover him and his new aversion to birds in general or that he ate chicken, duck, and turkey on occasion.

He had doubted that they would believe his pleas of "I was forced to eat them! Honest, as proof of my innocence I implore you to search the ship for any sort of fowl; you will find none." Jon sighed in relief and turned around-Murtogg and Mullroy, oh well, it could be worst.

"Where were you? I looked everywhere!" 

"Did you like Singapore?" piped Murtogg brightly with interest an impressed look on his face. Jon blinked as if an elephant had just lumbered its way onto the boat and started tap-dancing with a mouse and a piece of cheese.

"_Singapore_?"

"Yes, was it as pretty as they say?" Mullroy questioned conversationally.

"Were there mops?" Murtogg whispered his dislike of them creeping onto his features.

"What about boots?" Mullroy waved a boot. Murtogg hopped conspicuously on one foot. Mullroy had taken one of his boots. Nonetheless, Joseph Murtogg still managed to ask his question while hopping between his words.

"Hats-did-they-have-fancy-hats?"

What is it with everyone and hats anyway?Ana Maria had a hat, Murtogg and Mulllroy had hats; Commodore Norrington had a hat. Oliver had had a hat; of course he had stolen it from Captain Jack so Jon wasn't completely sure that counted. What was so important about hats? Tired of the hat business Jon sighed exasperatedly, "_Hats?_ How could I possibly know those things?"

"You said you looked _everywhere_-" Audacious Angus pointed out. Jumping Joe had jumped back into his boot and grinned at Angus. Joe turned to Jon, "If that's true you _had_ to have looked in Singapore."

"Or you can't have looked properly."

"You didn't look everywhere, nor did you _go_ everywhere."

"So you're not telling the truth." Audacious Angus concluded.

"Shame on you, Jonathan!" Joe shook his head sadly.

"I'm _not_ lying-and don't-don't call me Jonathan!"

"You said you looked everywhere, but you didn't so-you're lying." Mullroy reasoned.

"I would do no such thing!" fumed Jon. Guiltily he thought,_ unless I was lying to a pack of angry sea gulls and pelicans…_

"Ah, but you're a pirate. You could be lying right now." Murtogg stated looking suspiciously at Jon.

"I'm not lying, I'm not a pirate, I'm not 15 so I can't get a driver's-I mean a horse, I can't drink, and I can't sing, I can't predict the future, I can't swim-I can't read, write, or speak Latin. I just can't do a lot of things, okay? One of them is-"

"GENTLEMEN OF FORTUNE! DAVY JONES! DAVY JONES! BRAWK-ROCKY BEACHES!" Mr. Cotton shot past them, down the gangplank, flailing his arms, running like mad, making strange sounds seeming to forget he couldn't speak, while Percival zoomed before him translating.

"Oh, duck feathers…" Jon gasped comprehending the strange string of speech. Without another word he dashed after them knowing that someone had to translate Percy's translation when they found the rest of the crew.

"JON! WAIT!" shouted Murtogg he made a move to chase after him, but Mullroy held him back. "Ow… I have to get-"

"We have to stay."

"But-"

"Everyone's gone. We have to stay."

"What?"

"Someone has to watch the ship."

"I could just-"

"And have one person guarding the-" Mullroy froze, eyes widening. Murtogg smiled not understanding. "You could come with me if you're scared of-"

"It's not that."

"Well, what is it then?"

"I don't think _they_ will let us."


	26. Christmas in Charleston

**Disclaimer**: You should, by now, know that fan fiction writers' wish of owning Pirates of the Caribbean has yet to be realized. (This chapter if you choose not to read this chapter you will not miss anything of real importance to the plot.) WARNING: A sentence in this chapter begins with the words "Santa Claus isn't-" if you know what comes after proceed, if not you have been warned…

**Christmas in Charleston**

"When did they get here?" whispered Murtogg as the strangers drew out long blades that glinted in the sun and cocked dozens of pistols.

"Just now."

"Is that a good thing?"

"No, that is NOT a good thing."

"Oh," Murtogg smiled a hundred-candle smile at them. "HAPPY CHRISTMAS!"

A few of _them_ blinked before resuming their smile-evilly-with-armed-weapons poses. Mullroy closed his eyes and hung his head in an I-can't-imagine-why-my-friend-would-shout-a-salutation-to-evil-ship-taker-overs gesture. Strangely, with closed eyes he knew _exactly_ where Murtogg was and whacked him on the head.

Jumping Joe jumped and scowled at Audacious Angus who had been quite bold. I mean, what sort of person just whacks you on the head, no warning shouts or anything? It was _Christmas_ for goodness' sakes! _Big lump of coal for you, Mr. Meaty! _It was only after thinking this thought that Joe realized that since it was Christmas Day, Santa had already delivered his presents. _Where are they?_

Mullroy was mildly surprised to see Joe with a horrified look on his face. It appeared as if he had, to use one of Charlie's expressions, bit a bad apple and discovered half a worm in it. Murtogg whirled around, looking frantically for the presents that should have been present, up, down, all around. He tipped his hat over and wagged it around just to see, then tried Mullroy's.

"Hey, that's mine!" Angus exclaimed trying to tug it back, Joe tipped it over and began shaking it, giving Angus time to snatch it back. Not discouraged, Joe rubbed his hands together in anticipation of his imminent gift tearing up:

"Well, tell me where the presents are hid then!"

"What presents?"

"_What_ presents? It's Christmas isn't it? They have to be here somewhere."

"There are no presents."

"Of course there are! It's Christmas!"

"When was the last time you ever had a present from this 'Santa Claus'?"

"Never." Murtogg said matter-of-factly.

"And you never thought that was suspicious?"

"Nope! Why should I?"

"Murtogg, Santa Claus isn't-" What Mullroy said next you may already know, if not this is just in case you decided to read despite my warnings.

"Oh, that would explain it."

"So you're not going to scream something hysterically?"

"No, I'm fine-except for the fact that we are unarmed and have sneering men with swords and pistols surrounding us. Why would I scream hysterically?"

"Because I crushed your childhood dreams."

"Don't worry you didn't."

"That's good to know."

"I'd imagine it would be."


	27. We Know!

**Disclaimer**: By now I think it's safe to say you know what belongs to whom. This chapter is filled with what people knew and didn't know. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon. Today's chapter is…

**We Know!**

The sun was dipping below the horizon and the sounds of the night were sounding, rats squeaked as they scurried across ropes, pigs snorted as they roamed the streets happily searching for delicious bits of rotten food, cats screeched at stray dogs, people screamed at the cats who had screeched at the dogs who were now barking at the pigs. Lamp posts were being lit and Charlie and Oliver _still _hadn't caught up with that elusive apple cart!

After they had lost track of the cart for the fifteenth time, which just happened to be the eleventh time Oliver had to remind Charlie that "eleventy-three" was not a number, they stopped to rest on some crates.

"You think we should start heading back, Oliver?"

"Maybe we should wait."

"Why?"

"One, we haven't found that apple cart. Two, we weren't suppose to leave the ship-the crew might be back now and three, we left Jon all alone while he was being attacked by a parrot."

"We left him being attacked by a duck. Why's this any different?"

"_This_ time," Oliver began slowly emphasizing the difference between that time and this, "he could throw us overboard."

Charlie thought about that for a moment. Then he stopped thinking about it to think about the time they had left Jon being attacked by a duck. _Why did we leave him?_

_Something about boiling cheese…_He couldn't remember what so he thought about Jon throwing them over board again." What kind of board would Jon throw us over?"

"I meant over as not being on board the ship."

"We're not _on_ the ship now." Charlie countered. "I don't see how that's a problem."

"I meant that when we _are_ on the ship he could push us over the railing and into the water."

"What water?"

"The ocean, Charlie, the ocean."

"I've never heard of any kind of water called 'Ohshin' have they just discovered it?"

"All this time you had no idea what the ocean was?"

"I still don't know what the 'Ohshin' is- is it a lake?"

"No, it's the all of that water that we were sailing on!"

"You mean all-" Charlie stopped walking, turned to look at the harbor and waved his hands madly towards the sea, "-that?"

"Yes, all-" Oliver imitated the mad waving, "-that."

"So what's it called in England?"

"The ocean."

"Ah, 's bad luck to be forgettin' such things as not goin' off by yerselves…" Charlie and Oliver paused to exchange looks of dread with each other.

"M-mister Gibbs!" greeted Oliver a sad attempt of a smile on his face as they turned slowly to meet him. He was giving them a disapproving look, a coil of rope over his shoulder and a lumpy sack in one hand. That had been why most of the crew had left in the first place-for supplies.

"It's so nice to…um,"said Charlie faltering under his gaze, "…see you…"

"Would you forgive me for not believing tha'?"

"Um, yes?" Oliver said with what he hoped was a smile.

"Do y' know why I'm asking?"

" 'Cause you're…_not_ believing?" ventured Charlie.

"Aye," Gibbs nodded slowly, "D'you know what comes next?"

"I do-" Ana Maria smiled, "You're s'ppose to be on the ship-you're not- so trouble."

"Actually, since we're all here it's already come!" A sound of hooves and clatter of wheels on the cobbled street came to an end, the carriage stopping parallel to where Ana had just appeared. Ana, Gibbs, Charlie and Oliver turned towards the familiar voice.Jack Sparrow, captain of the Black Pearl and the subject of many stories, sat in the driver's seat of the carriage.

"Where'd you get that?" Gibbs asked.

"Do I have to answer that?"

"Ah, no…" Gibbs replied now knowing perfectly well _how_ he had acquired it, though not where or from whom.


	28. Quarter?

**Disclaimer:** Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is coming out July 7! Belongs to Disney. Today's chapter has the captain asking…

**Quarter? **

The captain clasped his hands behind his back and inspected the uncharacteristically quiet boys. He circled them and watched them silently as if trying to decide what proper punishment was in order.

Thoughts of dread exploded like gun powder filling the place in the two boy's minds that moments previously had been occupied by thoughts of apples…

What would he do? Take away their dinner? Keelhaul them? Make them sit high up on the masts with the sun beating down on their heads for an hour? Throw them in the brig where the sun never seeped in, where rats poked their furry faces between the bars, laughing at them, taunting them, flaunting their ratty freedom with flicks of their tales, that dreaded place where apples weren't allowed under any circumstances?

That was rule thirty-three in their mental book, _Preserving the Rights and Dignity of Apples: _

_Under no conditions are apples to be subject to unfair treatment such as serving time for a crime they did not commit, nor held any involvement. _

Oh alright, I admit it, they didn't think that there was no such rule. It actually said:

_Apples should not have to sit in prisons where rats might gobble them up instead of being properly devoured by human beings. _

There, now that we have that straightened out, on with the chapter!

Captain Sparrow came to a halt, Charlie and Oliver braced mentally for whatever horrible telling off they were going to get-the pirate captain cleared his throat.

"Yo-"

"We know!" sighed Oliver, "We're supposed to be on the ship-"

"-saving Jon's eyes from flying attack rats." finished Charlie as he looked up to see everyone looking him._ Wonder why Ollie's shaking his head and has that look…_

"You really didn't have to say that."

"What? What'd I do? It's true isn't it, Ollie?" Everyone stared at Charlie in silence a bit more.

"Ah, regardless of whether or not it is-you didn't let me finish." explained Jack.

"We didn't?" said Charlie

"No, you didn't."

"Finish what?"

"Finish what I was saying…"

"Oh, go on then."

"Right…you two will be will be escorted to the Pearl by Ana and locked in the brig until the crew decides upon a proper punishment." He nodded to Ana who a bit too happily began escorting them away.

"Brig? Brig? What?"

"The Pearl's not a brigantine is it?"

" Charlie, the kind with bars…"

"WHAT? I don't wanna go there!"

Jack turned to Gibbs and the nameless crewmembers who for some inexplicable reason knew where to congregate for that moment. Jack clapped his hands together. "Well, now that's done- who's up for a ride in the carriage?"

"Quarter! We beg quarter!" screamed a voice. Jack rolled his eyes and shouted towards the struggling boys.

"Don't be beggin' me! The sentence will -"

"What?" shouted Jon. It's amazing how fast people could move when encouraged by a person such as Ana Maria, the three were quite far.

"You just said quarter!" Jack hollered back.

"No I didn't! I don't even know what quarter is!"

"You don't?"

"WHAT?" Charlie called back straining to hear. Jack remembered to shout this time: "If you didn't know what it was-why did you say it?"

"QUARTER! QUARTER!" screamed the voice once again, much closer to Jack and his lot now. Jack squinted his eyes to look past Ana Maria, Charlie and Oliver.

It was a parrot. Or a flying rat whatever you choose to call it, screaming its head off, running close behind was the bearded Mr. Cotton and Jon.

"What are you-who's-"Ana started as they dashed past her. Frustrated she yanked Charlie and Oliver back towards Jack and nameless crewmembers following the squawking parrot. It sounded a bit like this:

"Ouch!"

"Be quiet!"

"That hurt!"

"QUARTER! QUARTER!"

"Mr. Cotton! Percival! Wait for meeee! Oh, duck feathers!"

"QUARTER! QUARTER!"

"Jon? Ow!"

"Stop ya-owwww!"

"I want to know why those two aren't at the ship!"

"Don't have to-hey!"

"I SAID BE QUIET!"

* * *

Note:I added a bit to this chapter and changed a few things, I think it's much better now. 


	29. Mops

**Mops**

While a parrot plunged forward screaming its feathered head off, Murtogg studied one of his captors though the bars of the Pearl's brig.

The stereotypical scary looking guard of the brig was sitting on a barrel casually whittling away at a long piece of wood knowing full well that two unarmed redcoats who were tied up and behind bars couldn't escape very easily. He had a scruffy look about him, dirt underneath his fingers, and salt stiff in his hair, teeth pleasant yellow, dark eyes, and that distinctive smell of tar. Of course the tarred smell could have been a result of being on a ship, but the smell was smelly and fragrant in a negative way regardless of what or who it came off of.

The guard stopped whittling, broke into a grin that showed he had missing teeth, placed his knife on the ground, and began moving towards the bars. He took his masterpiece, twirled it around, stuck long shredded pieces of rag to one end of it and showed off his work. "What d'ya think of that, eh?"

"How dare you?" spat Murtogg in a venomous way most unlike him. The guard frowned not understanding why. Murtogg and Mullroy were tied back to back, so Mullroy couldn't see what was going on at all."What?What did he do?"

"He made-a-the most-"

"The most what?What it is it?"

"A _mop_." Murtogg said in disgust, narrowing his eyes at the evil mop maker. The guard squinted angrily at him, leaned his mop against a crate, and folded his arms at the redcoated Englishman. "What is wrong with my mop? I, Martin, am the best mop maker!"

Mullroy closed his eyes and stared disbelievingly at the wall since he couldn't star disbelievingly at Murtogg. "A mop? You're mad over a mop?"

"They're _evil_." hissed Murtogg. Martin, guard of two red coated naval officers, evil hench-pirate in league with the enemies of our heroes, dog adorer, part time fisherman, mop making hobbyist and meat eater glared at Murtogg. "My mops are not evil!"

"Yes, they are!" insisted Murtogg.

"Oh?" said Mullroy, "And how long were you going to let me go around not knowing mops were evil?"

"Mops have been evil since," Murtogg stopped to think back to chapter thirteen, "-since Ana Maria forced us to mop…"

Mullroy shook his head-he was getting a headache from doing it so often in this story that he stopped. "You don't like mops-that doesn't mean they're evil."

"Yes, it does."

"My mops are not evil!" repeated Martin.

"Yes, they are!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"I only make _good_ mops!"

"EVIL!"

"Good!"

"Evil mops are not good!"

"Yes they are! I mean no, if they're evil they're not good-but-but _my mops aren't evil_!"

"Are too!"

"Are not!"

"Are!"

"Aren't!"

"WILL YOU TWO STOP IT?" howled Mullroy.

"Why are you shouting?" Martin asked shocked. How dare he raise his voice like that?

"That wasn't necessary you know. Maybe a nice 'please' or something." scolded Murtogg.

"Some people!" Martin agreed, sitting back on his barrel.

_All over mops…_


	30. Complications

**Disclaimer:** Disney owns COTBP and DMC and POTC3. I own the plot, the Charleston Boys, the parrot's name and the mops.Okay, so I finally wrote a chapter.In this one there are a few...**  
**

**Complications**

_This can't be good._ Jack slipped Gibbs the reins of the carriage pulling horses with an order to load the carriage.

"QUARTER! QUARTER!" The colorful bird swooshed and dove through the air, knocking bonnets off ladies' heads, hats from gentlemen, bread from bread baskets-and heads when such a misfortune came upon those who failed to duck.

Cotton swerved and crashed, dashed and bashed, as he struggled to keep up with his feathered friend in the crowd of people ending their day or starting a night on the town. Jon's excuse mes and pardons fell on deaf ears. Only glaring eyes and sharp tongues met them-to disregard or lash out. The bird broke through the now scattered crowd, barreling straight for Jack.

Jack flexed his usually fluttering fingers, judged the distance, ran, jumped up, reached and yanked the feathery flyer from the air. Being unable to stop gravity, he landed hard on his left shoulder and rolled onto his back, both hands holding the struggling bird.

" ROUND ROBIN! BLACK SPOT! CANNON FIRE!" the bird squawked and wiggled trying to free it's self.

"Awhgh. Somebody-get-this-this-AH!" The bird bit hard on his hand, "Ack!"

Bursting from his grip the bird snapped in the air at him before perching itself on Cotton's shoulder. Gibbs hurried forward and pulled Jack to his feet.

"Who's with the Pearl?"

"Cotton and I…" Jon noted the expressions on everyone's faces._Just ducky. Cotton is a mute, the bird is -a bird-I have to tell everyone that we-_

"Left it…with _them_," repeated Jack jaw dropping, Gibbs gasped and gaped, Charlie clapped a hand to his head, Marty moaned, "You-y-you with-"

"We had-_have_, "Jon emphasized, "a-uh- very-eh-_extremely_- good reason-"

"What," Jack bent down, leaned in close staring into his eyes, "reason?"

"Y-yes-the reason! A…party, n-not the drinks-the-group kind…of p-pirates..." Jon took a few large steps back. "…procured-the-the…"

"I'm sorry...what did you say?"

"The big buccaneers back there brought blunderbusses!"

"Where were you?" asked Ana.

"Ch-chasing C-c-cotton and his red r-rat..."

_That can't be right._ Charlie knew what rats looked like. They were furry, had wormy tails, little claws and teeth. Rats didn't have feathers, squawk-and as far as Charlie knew-fly. They had the kind of teeth that nibbled on food, sacks, ropes, wood, and leather--toes if you didn't kick. Worst of all-their unworthy yellow teeth brought an end to many an apple whose only crime was being delicious. Percy couldn't be a rat. He'd never-ever-tried to nibble on his toes. Charlie decided to correct Jon, "Parrot."

_No. Not Charlie.The pirate and Ana Maria are one thing, but Charlie-no. _Jon whirled around to face him. "He's a _rat."_

"Parrot." Charlie smiled sadly._ Poor Jon he's confusing rats with birds._

"R-A-T!" _How many times do I have to tell this-this-feather brain?_

"P-A-I-R-O-T!" _See, I can spell…I think…was that right?_

"WRONG! RAT!" _He's oblivious to subtlety _and_ he can't spell!_

"Bird," Charlie corrected slowly and carefully, "flying…feathered…fowl."

At that strangely intelligent or at least clear response Jon crossed his arms, scowled and spat "Ratty-rat-rat!"

"QUIET!" Jack reached into one of his coat pockets and pulled out a black compass. He took one glance at it then snapped it shut."Blast!"


	31. The Return of Parley

**Disclaimer**: Mouse owns all, but that of my own imagination. Today, witness the..

**Return of Parley**

The darkness below deck near the brig was accompanied by a strong snore that resembled something between a growl and a squawking chicken. Needless to say, Murtogg was awake. He crawled over to where Mullroy was dozing with his hat on his face. Murtogg bent down and whispered, "Mullroy..."  
"Hmph?" His eye fluttered open for a moment before he turned over, his hat falling off his face. Murtogg bit his lip trying to think. He slowly shook Mullroy."Mully..."

Mullroy snorted, jerked his head, and sleepily looked up at Murtogg's face."Heh?"

"We need a plan..."

"A...plan?"yawned Mullroy, searching for his hat on his hands and knees. He pulled Murtogg's off, yawned, and tried to fit it on his head. Murtogg smiled, found his friend's hat and carefully switched them. "Yes, Mully. Flee.Escape."

"Oh," Mullroy sat up, "right."

"How should we start?"

Mullroy stretched a bit, rubbed his eyes sleepily, and scratched a spot on his neck,"What would Sparrow do?"

Murtogg knew the answer to this one. "Befuddle, bewilder, trick and trap!"

"Sssh!" Mullroy urged, waking up a bit more. He was able to think now.If any befuddling, bewildering, tricking or trapping was to be done, it was best to plan it when the guard was snoring loud enough to hide their conversation.

"Sorry..."

"We can't trick and trap in here..." Mullroy said pulling at the bars of the brig.

"Can't, yup." agreed Murtogg.

"So we need-" A thought came to him. "Hey!"

"Hay?"frowned Murtogg sitting from the bars he had been leaning against. Hay? Sure, there was plenty of it on land, but how would they get hay when they were locked in there? That didn't explain why Murtogg sounded happy and inspired.

"Remember those two funny ones wearing dresses that we locked in Dauntless' brig?"

"Raggy and Pencil."

"Ragetti and Pintel." Mullroy corrected automatically. "What's a pencil?"Murtogg shrugged so Mullroy continued,"They were talking about pirates' code-a French word."

Murtogg could see what he was getting at,"And we're pirates now!"

"Do you know what it was?"

"Pirate?"

"Not French."

"Buccaneer!"

"No."

"Paris? Parsnip? Parsley? Partner?"

"PARLEY!" shouted Mullroy happily.A snort, a jerk, a falling off a chair, a mop rolling free, the guard stood up." Lis'en, isn't easy to sleep when you navy keep blathering!"

The two wore silly grins. "We're not navy."

"Oh?" A laugh, pointing out their red attire."Playing dress up?"

"We're pirates!"

"And I'm an egg laying hen!"

"PARLEY!"


	32. Waiting

**Disclaimer:** POTC doesn't belong to this writer.The only things that do belong to me here are Maria Narrow, the Charleston Boys, and the parrot's names. In this chapter there is an awful lot of...

**Waiting**

Jack closed his eyes, bowed his head forward, and took a deep breath in an effort to compose himself. He held this pose for a few minutes. During that time his crew waited, doing things such as twiddling their fingers, looking around aimlessly, staring into the distance, glancing at each other in what-is-he-doing ways, coughing, shifting uncomfortably, not talking as it didn't seem appropriate, not truly knowing what to do. Gibbs took this opportunity to drink from his canteen and Ana used her time glaring at the three cabin boys who were the cause of the trouble.

Those passing by took furtive looks at the strange assortment of people and frowned. Some muttered as they passed:

"Young people these days…"

"No doubt, they're doing something funny…"

"Hmm…"

"Huh?"

"I say, look at their clothes!"

"What are they doing?"

"Look mommy-bird!"

"Sssh! Don't point."

Jack opened his eyes. "Load the carriage. Docks. One hour." They began busying themselves. To Charlie, Oliver and Jon he made a tacit gesture that clearly meant "follow me" as he turned away from them and began walking.

Jon's first thought was, _Wonderful, birds, always with the birds!_ They were the first thing he noticed, perched on the roof of the house-if it could be called that. Whether it was a house or not it was tall, but not wide as if it had been squashed right between the two buildings on either side of it. It had a tiny sign hung on its driftwood door that read:

_M. NARROW_

Jack knocked on the door. A crash, the sound of coughing, then a voice sounded from within. "One moment-ouch, I'm fine, I'm fine! Ow! No need to worry-Ah-ah-CHOO!"

The door swung open revealing a cloud of dust, which was quickly waved away. After a few loud, awkward coughs, the young woman stared as she realized who was there.

"Oh," her eyes traveled to Charlie, Oliver and Jon. More staring. Then she blinked for what seemed to be the first time since opening the door. "Oh! Where are my manners? Come in, come in!"

They stepped inside to find everything coated in the same dust. Jack pulled a hat off a shelf and blew sending another lovely cloud of dust into the air. "Dusting?"

"Hm?" Their hostess was frowning as she turned a chipped tea cup over spilling more of-of whatever it was onto her floor. "No, sand."

"Where'd you get all of it?" Oliver said in awe as he stared at a barrel full of apples.

"That's the thing…I don't know where it came from-" she looked up at a gaping hole, "from the ceiling obviously, but how in the world did it get there?"

"Apples in your ceiling?"

"Don't be silly, that's ridiculous."

"You're the one who said it."

"I never said a thing about apples." She turned to Jack who was un-dusting the hats on the shelves. "It's a ship. Who took it?"

"You know why I'm here yet you were surprised."

"I knew your ship came here and that it left. I hadn't known you weren't on it."

Jon frowned, "How did you know his ship was here?"

"Someone told me."

"Who?"

"That I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"Because that is my trade or rather _what_ I trade."

"Telling?"

"Stories, rumors, knowledge worth knowing or knowledge worth something to someone else."

"How are those things going to help us get the Pearl back?"

"It depends on what you tell me and what you ask."

"Me?" Jon asked shocked.

"Yes."

"I haven't anything to tell."

"I'll tell where you can find a lightly guarded ship-if you three tell me a story that's good enough."

"There's four of us."

"Your captain told me a story last time that was worth two ships. You boys haven't paid. So start telling, you have a ship to catch."


	33. Dreamed Alliance

**Disclaimer:** CotBP and DMC aren't mine. Yes, sorry for the slow update I would have had it up earlier, but there was a glitch of some sort attacking the document manager. I was particularly pleased about this chapter. I hope you are as well. Here is today's edition of Shipwreck: Murtogg and Mullroy:

**Dreamed Alliance**

In the time it took Jon to tell a story worthy of the tale trader two things of import occurred. The first, that Murtogg and Mullroy were no longer locked in the brig. The second, that they were tied back to back, sitting on the deck in front of the great cabin, dreaming as they awaited their meeting with the captain of the crew.

Let's see shall we?After all it's not often that you have the power of knowing dreams. How about Murtogg? I'm sure _he's_ dreaming something interesting…

"Murtogg…Hel-lo-oh!" It was Oliver, "Joe?"

"Snafozo…" _Go, I don't want to…_

"Ana Maria won't like it. Sleeping…it's your watch!" _Yes, sleep…_

"HEY!" Oliver paused. "I'm not going to do it for you." More mumbling. Oliver shook his head and sighed.

CRASH! In the middle of a jumble of cloth came a voice. "Ow!Why'd y-you-" Oliver yanked what once was a hammock and a blanket from Murtogg and pointed to the hatch, "On deck! Up-go!"

Slowly, he picked himself up and Oliver held out his hat. He took it saying irritably, "You_ could_ have just shaken me."

"No, I like this way better."

Murtogg placed the hat on his head and grumbled a bit more to himself as he climbed the ladder. It's been a while since someone grumbled in this story. There's been shock, anger, curiosity, whining, confusion and composure of late, but no grumbling and mumbling. Ah, I'm wandering, back to dreaming:

Murtogg was on deck, grumbling a bit more, rubbing his head. Jon ran out from behind a mast, excitedly he bounced up and down, a grin on his face he ran on. "You gotta see this!"

"See-" Murtogg's hat jumped off, began sliding across the deck after Jon- not knowing what to do Murtogg started shouting and ran. "Wait for me hat! Come ba-"

It halted, he tripped, falling onto his face, and he looked up. "Oh, no…"

It was the most horrifying sight. It was the evil of evils, the villain of villainy, the thing that lived on every ship forcing sailing men and cabin boys everywhere in the Caribbean to work with the sun beating on their backs, it dripped and gave splinters, the very thing that should never-_eve_r be allowed-but was.

Mops. It wasn't just that they-yes, more than ONE-were there either. They were upright on their handles hopping around, the part that was used for swabbing had eyes and a mouth. There were three beautiful-as far as mops went-back up singing mops and a lead singer with his hair-well, the part used to mop-slicked back. They were _singing _a Jazzy song and dancing:

_I am a mop! I mop up slop! I may be drip-py and smell of salt-_

_Sa-al-lt…_

_-but you know it's not…my…fault!_

_Not his fault…_

_Singing is tough, dancing is too,_

_They said we'll never make it, not ever, ever, ever-_

_They said NEVAH!_

_But- I won't quit! I won't stop! Even though, I am a mop!_

_We are mops!_

With a scared-out-of-his-mind-by-dancing-prancing-singing-mops look on his face Murtogg watched on, astonished and petrified at the sight of Charlie, Oliver, Jon, Mr.Gibbs, Marty, the other Charlie, Mr. Sparrow, even Mullroy dancing with the evil things. Clearly, they were under some sort of mop caused trance for they turned around and began chanting:

_Join us, sing with us, dance with us, dance with us…Join us…_

"NO! NO! NOOOO!" Murtogg snapped his eyes open. Mullroy was jerked awake. "What is it? Are they coming with swords or something?" He couldn't see what Murtogg could see as they were tied back to back.

"I-I…" A sudden idea struck Murtogg he brightened, "I have an idea!"

"That's it? You woke me up for _that_?"

" Mop alliance!"

"I thought you had a mop aversion."

"I do."

"Yet you want an alliance with them."

"I don't. I meant, make our foes our friends!"

"Mops."

"They are evil, but I meant the evil crew. Not their mops."

"The snarling, leering, mop-making, grim and grimy, keeping-us-against-our-will crew?"

"Yep. That's the one!"

"How will that help us?"

"I haven't figured that out yet."

" I suppose it can't hurt…Alright, Joe we'll do it!"

A cough came from above-they had been sitting-they looked up. It was a skinny, large nosed, proper looking, incongruous -on-a-pirate ship sort of man. "The Captain will see you now."


	34. Navy No More?

**Disclaimer**: Pirates is now in theaters! And most certainly doesn't belong to me. There should be another chapter up soon. Today's edition of Shipwreck:Murtogg and Mullroy is short and raises the question...

**Navy No More?**

He was CAPT. BLAKE SNAFFOAM III or at least that was what a barrel sized sign that was leaned against the desk screamed as they were poked into the cabin. The mop-making pirate Martin shuffled out and the door swung shut. Snaffoam stood up from his chair, walked to the front of the desk and peered through his glasses at them.

"So," they could see his yellow teeth, "you're not navy." Murtogg and Mullroy relaxed a bit. Perhaps they weren't in trouble after all-besides being held prisoner and having their hands tied. (No longer were they back to back, the large nosed pirate had wanted them to be "presentable".) Murtogg recovered first nodded and smiled, "Nope."

Mullroy stepped forward and tried to sound less navy and bit more pirate, "Think about it Cap'n, a couple of the King's navy men unarmed?"

"On the _Black Pearl_?" chimed in Murtogg.

"Alone as we were?"

"Be a bit funny, eh?"

"Aye!"shouted Mullroy. He showed his boots for added effect, "Why look, scuffed boots-"

"Ruffled hair, crumpled hats-"

"Uniforms not up to scratch-"

"-and he stinks!" added Murtogg nodding towards Mullroy.

"I resent that."

"If it helps, I stink as well!" Murtogg proclaimed happily. Snaffoam regarded them from behind his spectacles and considered what they had said. He chuckled, "Ah, might I ask why the uniforms?"

"Oh…" Murtogg looked to Mullroy and grinned hopefully. "You're always much better at explaining things."

"Yes, that…" A quick nervous, accusatory look was shot at Murtogg, his gaze danced around the cabin a bit, before going back to his shoes. He thought for a moment when it hit him. (Please, do not think for a moment that he was actually hit.) Mullroy straightened and confidently proceeded. "The uniforms were a tactic that failed to fool brilliance such as yours sir."

"What sort of tactic?"

"A tactic that we hoped would ward off potential ship commandeering or stealing, ward off stealing."

"Ah," Snaffoam smirked. "Then I extend the same invitation I have given to others. Sail under our articles or jump."

The two red jacketed men were brief in their answers. Mullroy stuttered, "W-we'd be honored."

"Not to jump."

The large nosed pirate who had revealed his name as "Snivels" opened a book-possibly the ship's log-dipped his quill in his inkstand, coughed and sniffed, " Hem. Names?"

"Audacious Angus Miller." Snivels' eyes flickered up from the book, as if comtemplating whether to add such a bother as "Audacious" or not. He sighed and scribbled in his little book. Murtogg squinted his eyes at Mullroy in bewilderment.

"Why'd you-"

"Your name, " Mullroy said pointedly ,"_pirate_."

"Um...Jumping Joe...Joseph...Mur-mud...dog." This squashed another long sigh from Snivels, "Mer?"

"I thought...I saw a mermaid?"

"Perhaps you are the one who should be wearing glasses." Snivels sniffed as he looked at Murtogg through his own.He shifted a bit, dipped his quill back into the inkstand, and positioned it above the book."Muddog, is it?"

"Yes..."

Later as they were settling into their hammocks...

Mullroy shook his head,"_Muddog_?"

"I was nervous!"


	35. A Friendly Plan

**Disclaimer: **Pirates will never be owned by me. I wouldn't dream of taking it away from Disney.

**A Friendly Plan**

The instant Murtogg and Mullroy were awakened the next day they put their "friendly" plan into action. They did so by greeting everyone and complimenting the rather stinky and grumbling grim gentlemen on everything they could think of.

"Oh, smashingly good knot tying!" Murtogg exclaimed as he peered over a crew man's shoulder.

"You're the best topmen I've ever seen!" raved Mullroy gazing up. "You're taking to the rigging like monkeys in a jungle!"

"I've never seen dirtier boots in my life!"

"Snivels, I think that wig looks wonderful on you!"

"Who cooked this appetizing and…and…delicious meal?" smiled Mullroy as he gazed into his tin at the lovely brown swimming chunks of-he didn't know what exactly, but he ate it and praised it even as the crew ran to the rails.

"Hello pirate we have yet to meet!" grinned Murtogg to one of those unfortunate souls. "I'm Joseph Muddog and this is my good friend Milly!"

"Miller. Not Milly. Pleased to meet you!"

By the fifth day the crew thought they were the kindest, most polite- if a bit clumsy- pair. Except for Snivels.

"Do you think it wise signing them on?" he commented as he served Snaffoam his dinner.

"The two of them, grinning and entertaining us with hat stories? Hardly dangerous."

"Stories?"

"Come now, don't tell me you haven't heard one yet!"

"As it so happens I haven't."

"Then you're in luck. They always tell one after dinner."


	36. The Hat Story

**The Hat Story**

"What shall it be today, gents?" Mullroy asked amiably perching himself on a barrel next to Murtogg. "Being marooned on an island?"

"We did fight skeletal pirates-caught them too-"Murtogg added setting his tin plate aside. Mullroy nodded and added, "_Immortal_ skeletal pirates."

That was their cue, every day after sunset when the lanterns were lit, the food tossed over the railing, the watch changed, they would suggest a story. Or rather a number of stories for at least half an hour before finally deciding on the first one mentioned. Ah a pirate crew, especially a fictional one that I've thought up, trying to figure them out is like trying to put a coconut into a peanut butter jar.

"How 'bouts a ghost story?"

"No, legend of Cortez and Aztec gold!"

"Morgan! The pirate brethren!"

"Sea monsters!"

"Sirens prettier than gold."

"No one of gold!"

The door to the captain's quarters (that were at the moment occupied by a man who was unrightfully captain of the legendary ship) swung open. Snaffoam and Snivels stepped out, and crossed the main deck to where the suggestions were being made.

"The hat story."

"Cap'n! Sorry gents, Captain's privilege. Shall you start it Mur-Muddog?"

"Ah, the hat story. It's about this one here,"Murtogg removed his har in dramatic fashion waving it about, "See it? Go on, take a good look, pass it around." He tossed it to one of the listeners. They looked at it then passed it down.

"Has everyone had a good look?"

Snivels sniffed, then huffed tiredly, "How can we not with you banishing it around like a-a _puppy_, a silly puppy!"

"I like puppies, cute things. Oh, Mully remember the ones we found at the-"

"Hat story, Muddy." Mullroy hinted helpfully. Murtogg turned away from his audience to look at him."Who's Muddy?"

"Joe…"

"Who…that's me! Isn't it?"

"Hat story."

"Oh, sorry." He turned back to the hat examining pirate audience. "Seen it? What sort of hat is it?"

"A tricornered one."

"Black."

"Old and worn."

Murtogg nodded at their descriptions, "Ev'ryday sort of thing wouldn't you say?"

"Aye Muddog, that we would."

" Notice anything?" The current hat holder squinted at it, turned it inside out then right side out, everyone was gathered around it. It was sight, a bit strange really, grown men, pirates huddled around an ol' hat as if it were a treasure.

"There's a tear," noted one. "Should we notice anything else?"

"Nope." Murtogg said flatly, shaking his head. Mullroy smiled knowing what was coming.

"Then what are we looking for?"

"Nothing at all." smiled Murtogg.

"Then, _why_ are we looking at it."

"Because it _doesn't_ look like anything.That's why."

"I don't get it."

"It doesn't look it, but it is. It saved my life…"


	37. The Coastal Captain

**Disclaimer:** POTC is not mine. Dead Man's Chest rocks, go see it. First off, thanks for reviewing! Okay, originally "The Story Muddog Told" was suppose to come now, but I haven't finished that one yet so I bumped this chapter up. In today's edition Jack is informed of...

**The Coastal Captain**

Now, you must be wondering about Oliver, Charlie and Jon. Why would you be? Simple, I've just reminded you about them so naturally you're at this very moment thinking about them and wondering why I brought it up.

We left them all alone to tell a tale to the tale trader. Here's what happened afterwards:

" Snaffoam will never leave the sight of land, but stick to the coast. You have the advantage." Marie smiled. "Not only that you will know where he is headed."

Jack waited. He leaned closer listening intently, nodded his head as if she had just said something, and waited a bit more. Several awkward and discomfiting minutes of waiting for the smiling Marie to say something passed. Oliver and Charlie were slumped in their seats staring at each other passing when-is-she-going-to-say-something-so-we-can-go looks when Jack finally broke the silence and sighed, "And that place where he is headed would be?"

"Port Royal."

"You said he would stick to the coast."

"I did?"

"Yes, before the smiling and being very quiet."

"Oh, it's been so long…"

"It wouldn't have been if you just told us!" sighed Oliver.

"I didn't know someone could smile so much…" Charlie complained.

"And I thought Jon talking a lot was annoying…" added Oliver.

"Hey!" shouted Jon standing up from his seat.

"Well! I'm sorry but you needn't be so rude!" huffed Marie. "Besides I meant Port Royal, South Carolina." Marie strode over to a cabinet, opened it, shuffled a few rolled up maps around, before finally finding the one she needed. She handed it to Jack who slipped it into one of his coat pockets. "Now, a ship was it?"

"Yes." Jack said quietly.

"Mention "Narrow Passage" to the one snoring very, very irritatingly loud and strong near a docked ship called the _Moderation._"

"How do you know he's sleeping?" Jon questioned.

"I pay him to be there. There isn't much else he could be doing."

"What do you pay him?" Oliver asked.

"My, my I thought we'd been over this. My business is information. I don't just dish it out on a silver platter to every person on the street. You have what you need to know."

"Many thanks," Jack said with a small bow. "Now we really must be going." He headed out the door and the three boys followed.

"Why did we do all that?" Jon asked as they walked peering up at him.

"Do your feet hurt?"

"Yes."

"Are you confused and frustrated? Uneasy?"

"I suppose."

" I am." put in Oliver.

"Me too." added Charlie.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes!" cried the three.

"Good."

"Good?" repeated Jon. "Aren't we going to eat something?"

"Not at the moment."

"Then,"Charlie sighed, "why ask?"

"Because it's what I wanted to know. Isn't that why we ask things?"

"Yes, but you haven't answered my question." Jon said impatiently. "Why did we go there? What was the purpose?"

" One, I needed to know who it was that took her. Two, I needed to know where he was going. Three, " Jack turned on a triumphant smile. "I needed some way to punish you."


	38. The Story Muddog Told

**Disclaimer:** Yup, not mine.I'm sorry this took so long, I never intended it to.Well, here it is...

**The Story Muddog Told**

It was one of those grey nights. We knew a storm was coming, the kind where the lightning's flashing and clouds are clumped together and the water and sky are grey and the ship's swaying and pitching up and down and up and down and side to side and the water's washing on the deck. The ship's making strange creaking noises, groaning and moaning like it has a stomach ache or it's been hit on the head with a big scaly, slimy, stinky fish.

It was going to be the sort of storm where everyone's scurrying around tightening ropes and trying not to slip or be scared. We tried not to get scared. We wanted to be brave and heroic so we'd be able to tell _everyone_ about it later. Or at least have someone else tell someone we were brave. That's important you know.

Well, the point is the storm wasn't there yet, but it was getting closer. We didn't want to be securing and tightening when the storm was there. I was on one of the lower decks checking the cannons. I was on the last one when the ship tilted, just a bit at first. The cannon crept towards my toes. I backed up- crushed toes have never been on my list of enjoyable things that I'd someday like to do, but haven't yet. I was about to secure it, then-WHOMP! I'm flat on my back facing the cannon, the ship leveled, I groaned, deck tilted, the cannon crept a bit more, ship tipped down again, I sat up.

I smiled, laughed a bit, and did a sort of dance sitting on the deck, wagging my finger at the cannon, "You can't get me! You can not! You can't get me! Ha-ha-ha-ha-HAH! I'm not squishy, squished, squashy, squishy, squish, squash -SQUASHY!"

POW! Lightning was doing its regular rumbling noises, the ship tilted, the cannon rolled after me, rumbling like it was a hungry cat, I scurried backwards, "No, no, no no! I didn't mean it! I didn't Mr. Cannon"

It just kept rumbling and moving, and I was crawling backwards, "No squash Joe! No close! No squish! No squash! No pumpkin!"

"Parley?" Shuffling back I gulped, flopped off my boot and threw it, tossed my other boot, then finally my old faithful hat. RUMBLE! I hurriedly crawled backwards colliding with wood-no a wall! I closed my eyes and waited. Nothing. I opened my eyes in disbelief. No ouch? No shouts of "ow"? No crushed toes? It had stopped! It had stopped-but how? I glanced down, there wedged beneath one of the wheels was my hat.


	39. Telling Half Truths

**Disclaimer: **Lom say, say, me no own-y piratey-arr, arr. Hehe. Today's second chapter is…

**Telling Half Truths**

"That's it? That's the brilliant, amusing, hat story? There was only ONE bit about hats!" Snivels stood up and looked his Captain squarely in the eye. "I quit! No more stealing or suffering these, these, two-two-"

"You can't quit." Snaffoam chuckled shaking his head. Snivels narrowed his eyes and scrunched up his mouth."I can do what I please! I am Snivels!"

"And what will you do?" laughed Snaffoam. "Jump out and row?"

"Very _well_," Snivels said quietly regaining his composure. "consider this a fortnight's warning."

Snaffoam smiled and stood up from his barrel the amusement no longer in his eyes. "I will consider it _my_ warning. Take him and that ridiculous wig below."

"I-I would-me?" stuttered Snivels as two large, stereotypically gruff and scruffy looking sailors dragged him away. "Stooping to violence? Mutiny? Never!"

"Yet you have suggested it." Snaffoam paused and turned to gruffy scruffy sailor number two, "Toss the wig."

Murtogg and Mullroy paled. If quitting was an imprisoning offense, terrifying grown men into thinking there were such things as flying rodents certainly was as well. Coincidently, that was part of their plan, to belie the stories of their merciful captain they used their auspicious position of having been on the Black Pearl at the time of their capture. They were, therefore a "reliable" source of information about those who probably wanted their ship back and were undoubtedly sure to follow.

Basically what I'm saying is this; the temporary crew of the Black Pearl walked the decks with terrifying thoughts in their heads. A few examples of which are these:

"Black sails, decks dark as pitch, menacing as meat!" whispered Mullroy to the quartermaster once while on watch with him.

"Stinky rotten meat!" added Murtogg.

"Un-undead…" whimpered the cook while Murtogg was helping him in the galley.

"Undead _rats_," confirmed Murtogg, "all whiskery and smelly…like…death! They were flying through the air" Murtogg made a fluttering motion with his hand "biting and attacking helpless cabin boys!"

"Afflicted with acronyms," Mullroy had said quietly to one of the top men one afternoon after a meal.

"_All_ of them," emphasized Murtogg setting his tin plate aside.

Ever since that particular meal the topmen spoke of all the horrible acronyms the previous crew had had. They had never heard of acronyms before that moment and were thoroughly convinced they were not good things.

There was Oliver who was suddenly afflicted with apple hating-yet denied it. Muddog and Miller (who preferred to be called Mully for a reason unknown to the crew) had even said they once had R.A.T., Random Apple Tossing or the urge to use apples as flying weapons or a strange defensive tactic. The first mate had B.A.S.S., bossiness and shouting syndrome, "that's why we let her boss us about…" was what Muddog had said. The youngest cabin boy, Jon Green had the worst of all P.I.E., the dreaded Parrot Idolizing Disorder.

With those thoughts in their minds I wonder what they would've done if they knew the all the above mentioned were waiting for them at the very port they were nearing:

Port Royal, South Carolina


	40. The Waiting Game

**The Waiting Game**

_Port Royal , South Carolina…_

"Checkmatey!" Charlie grinned as he knocked a piece off the board with his pawn. Jack leaned forward, one elbow on the table. He glanced down at the game then up at Charlie. He looked at the board one more time as if he had to make sure. "Ah, no."

"But I took your, your-"

Jack sighed, moved from his chair, bent down to pick up the piece Charlie had knocked off the board and sat back down. He held it in his palm and showed it to him. "Pawn."

"Yeah, checkmate! I WIN!Yessss! I won, I won! Take that you pirate!" Charlie shouted triumphantly sitting back in his chair.

"Your king is all by its onesies, savvy?"

"Yup. Isn't it great?" Charlie jumped up and started to sing, "I win and I win! Hey, hey, won, won! I am a winner! Winner, winner, winner!"

Jack watched as jumped up and down and up and down. He was instantly reminded of two former royal navy men who had hopped up and down on a beach, waved their red coats and dug a very large hole in the sand for no apparent reason.

"Do you know what "savvy" means, Charlie?"

"I savvy 'savvy'," nodded Charlie he grinned and sang, "Yup I savvy, that I…I called you out and I beat you, I beat you!"

"No, you didn't."

"Oh…" said Charlie slowly as if he knew something. "I see where this is going."

"Do you?" Jack said curiously. "Where is it going?"

"You're trying to get to me."

"Am I?"

"Yes. By saying I didn't beat you…you're trying to get me to say 'Yes I did.' You'll say 'No, you didn't' and I'll say "Uh-huh!" You'll say "Nuh-uh" and we'll go back and forth in a childish argument that ends up making me-" Charlie pointed his thumb at himself, "look like an idiot because in fact, you _were_ right to begin with! Well, it's not going to happen, Captain!"

"It doesn't need to now that you've done that. Which means…"

"I've made myself look like an idiot."

"With no help on my part whatsoever." Jack added. He stood up from his chair.

"Awww…"groaned Charlie. He watched as Jack turned to walk away. "Hey! Don't go! We have to finish the game."

"I thought we went-"

"If I haven't beaten you I still have to win. I don't want you to win."

"There is a third choice."

"Really?" Charlie brightened. "What is it?"

"Forfeiture."

"Ollie!" Oliver looked up from his piece of paper. It was Charlie. Oliver smiled, "Did you win?"

"I forfeited, isn't that great?"

"Oh yeah, that's brilliant!" Oliver paused. "What does that mean?"

Charlie thought for a moment. What did it mean? He hadn't been particularly concerned at the time he had. He hadn't even thought anyone would ask. He was entirely unprepared for that simple question. He looked up towards the sails, down at his feet, down on the left at Ana Maria's feet, to the right at Gibbs' feet, down at Oliver's feet, he realized there wasn't anyone else's feet to look at on deck so he bit his lip, looked Oliver in the eyes and shrugged half-heartedly.

"That's alright, here." Oliver held out a piece of paper to Charlie. Charlie took it, stared at it for a moment, then at Charlie. "You know I can't write."

"I know, but we can be artists together!"

"Artists?" Charlie said doubtfully. Oliver nodded and grinned then directed Charlie's attention to Jon and Ana Maria.

Ana was sitting in her chair, a knife in one hand and a bit of wood in the other. Jon was standing a few feet in front of her, hands by his side, a look that was reminiscent of a man who had stepped in a very large, stinky, unpleasant, pile of horse droppings displayed on his face. Percy was perched on his shoulder chewing on his ear and looking perfectly happy. Jon raised a hand to stop him-

"Don't move." Ana said smiling. Jon could not see any reason why. _Unless…she has had a parrot that she detested nibble on her ear before and found it pleasant instead of irritating and that it created the urge to swat said pirate parrot off his shoulder to-_

"Ah, stay."Ana said.

"I'll move if I want to!" Jon began. Ana's smile disappeared, she stopped carving and Jon became acutely aware that she had a knife in her hand. "But, I don't feel like moving so I won't…"

"Good." Ana said pleasantly smiling again and resuming her wood carving. Feeling that glaring angrily at her was not the best course of action Jon glared at the ear nibbling Parrot.

"Stop looking at Percy like that Jon." Oliver called.

"Makes for a horrible picture." added Charlie.

"Picture?" Jon asked getting increasingly annoyed.

"Pictures!" corrected Charlie "I'm painting, Ollie's drawing."

"Great…"Jon sighed. "First, I'm the kid who fell off rigging nearly squishing Jack Sparrow. Then I was the one betrayed by a parrot, who nearly had his eyes poked out by the same parrot, now I've been standing in the same pose for the last hour for a picture and a painting."

"An' a wood carving!" Gibbs added chuckling. "Really, Jon it can't be all bad for you."He reached for his canteen, brought it to his lips and- "PWHAH!" Spat all over poor Jon whatever had been in his canteen. Gibbs eyes wide smelled his canteen, grimaced and emptied the remaining contents into the ocean. "If a man can't trust his own canteen…there's a problem!"

"Yeah, and I think I know who it is…" Jon grumbled. Charlie and Oliver were laughing hysterically. Oliver bowed low snickering, "Thank you, thank you!" Charlie clapped, grinned, and asked, "What did you put in it?"

"Bilge water!" Then the two promptly resumed their unintelligible snickering, hissing, "haha"-ing and talking. Usually amiable Gibbs darted for the two who scrambled to their feet and ran. Gibbs hurled, grabbed the back of their shirts, and-

"Gibbs! No, no, no that won't do at all!" Jack said as if he disagreed with the color of a drape or some other trivial matter. "Keep to the Code. 'Every quarrel will be settled on land'-which is about oh, say feet away?"

"What?" Gibbs frowned.

"Oh, and I'm sure we can find three pistols…" Jack continued casually. "The only thing is two on one isn't all that fair-"

"Pistols?"

"Naturally, naturally,"Jack waved his hand as if it were of little importance, "The whole 20 paces away, turn on three and shoot sounds good- what say you?"

"I'm not going to shoot them!"

"Of course you're not, at least not on my ship, we went over this 'every quarrel will be settled on land'."

"I'm not 'bout to shoot them here or on land!"

"Eww." Jack stepped back in disgust. "Cutlasses? Bloody, messy, it'll be a bloody mess!"

"And I'm not going to use cutlasses!"

"Then what are you going to use?" Jack said impatiently retrieving a red apple from his pocket.

"Isn't that all violent?"

"Yes, but you were the one suggesting violence." Jack pointed out punctuating his sentence with a loud crunch out of his apple. Gibbs suddenly understood. "Why can't you just say what you mean like everyone else?"

"You don't feel like hitting them anymore do you?"

"No." Gibbs said much to Oliver and Charlie's relief.

"Excellent. Let go of them then." Jack smiled. His eyes were drawn towards something behind Gibbs, he moved past him. It was a ship, black as ink, dangerous, beautiful, and powerful. "She's here."

Jack threw the apple over his shoulder and Oliver caught it, "YES!"


	41. The Other Port Royal

**Disclaimer:** PotC no matter how I wish it shall never be mine.

"Give it a month, maybe more keep a weather eye open and our chances are fair."-Jack Sparrow, deleted scene

It should not have taken a month to write another chapter. I'm sorry to all who are still reading. Hopefully, I can get the next chapter up rather soon. Today's edition of "Shipwreck Murtogg and Mullroy" is located at...

**The Other Port Royal**

"Helmsman, watch out for that-" Sreeeeech! Snaffoam closed his eyes and shook his head. "Just dock and try not to be so-so silly."

" 'Welcome to Port Royal'?" Murtogg frowned repeating the words scrawled on a sign. "That's in Jamaica, Captain Snaffoam." Snaffoam snickered and after a short pause, the entire deck erupted into laughter. Snaffoam shot a disapproving glare at this effectively silencing them.

"I'm shocked gentlemen." He shook his head sadly. A noticeable droop dropped over his crew, eyes looked guiltily at boots, lips were bit, and uncomfortable fidgeting and shifting transformed the menacing into mice. "It's always hard being one of the new pirates in a strange crew. Laughing at him is hardly the proper thing. Be nice pirates. Show him you're glad he decided to join us instead of being thrown overboard."

"We're sorry Muddog…" chimed the villainous, inconsiderate pirates obediently staring at their feet. Snaffoam continued to give them a disapproving stare. "Er-and Milly…"

"MULLY!" shouted Mullroy.

"Yes, thank you crew." Snaffoam said appreciatively before barking a few orders to make sure "we don't crash into the dock like last time!"

Martin stayed behind with Mullroy and Murtogg as everyone went to their ordered stations. He said, "I ne'er understood that 'Mully'."

Murtogg was ready to help with an explanation. "It's cause his real name-OW!"

"Oh, I'm sorry Joe…" Mullroy said looking away. Murtogg rubbed his arm and whined, "You did that on purpose!"

"Who we talking about?"

"All I was going to say was-" Murtogg moved out of arm's reach from Mullroy and turned to Martin,"that he's called Miller and he don't like Milly so I call him by his right nickname."

"What's his left nickname?" Murtogg and Mullroy exchanged a look.The sort of look that the mop maker should've recognized as the kind of look people give when they can't believe that he, a grown, scary looking, ship stealing, slightly balding, yellow toothed, man didn't understand something. Murtogg tried to elaborate, "I meant right as in proper not as in not left."

"What's his improper nickname then?"

"He doesn't have one of those."

"That's very strange."

"You're very strange." Murtogg mumbled.

"What?"

"Er-I like o-range."

"It's or-ann-juh."

"Thank you," Murtogg added quietly, "_evil mop maker_."

"You're welcome." Martin smiled. Murtogg smiled showing teeth like a tiger would to an unfortunate meal. It's was so effective at achieving this that it's unpleasant-ness made Martin think it was a pleasant smile. Snaffoam happened to see this.He shook Mullroy's hand and clapped the other two on their shoulders.

"It's good to see you three getting along." He smiled at Murtogg, "Muddog, you two and Milly should go ashore first after we-" CRIKKKK! "crash." Snaffoam whirled around, "You slapped by a mermaid, peanut butter covered, bee stung, smelling of pig, messy eating, drooling, Kraken spat and slimed on, lazy, daft and idiotic cockroaches! That's the second scratch today and the fifth ship you've scratched this week!"


	42. What?

**What?**

"We could write him a letter, send it to Tortuga and stall until they get here. It'll only take a few months." Murtogg suggested walking backwards facing Mullroy. They were walking through a marketplace looking for something to eat.

"Brilliant, inspired, novel, smashingly good-barrel to your left." Murtogg adjusted accordingly to Mullroy's instructions walking backwards all the same.It went a bit like this: "What shall we-oop cat crossing your path!" Murtogg froze and Mullroy waited for the cat to cross. "It's gone.What shall we say?" They resumed walking.

"Tell him, tell him we're okay and that they crashed the Pearl into the dock, but it only needs a few pieces of wood and bit of paint!"

"May be we shouldn't-oh you walked through a ladder-start off with such bad news."

"Oh, I did."Murtogg observed watching the ladder shrink as they strolled. "Ooof!" He stumbled over a sack and landed rear first on the ground. Mullroy pulled him to his feet apologizing for not warning him. Murtogg brushed himself off saying, "You're right we shouldn't start off so badly.

"YE SPILLED ME SALT!" sobbed a bewhiskered old man with fish slung over his shoulder. He dropped to his knees moaning over the sack that was spilling white across the ground. Murtogg studied the white substance and threw it over his shoulder, "Is that what this is? I'm sorry. Do you want me to help you sweep it up?"

"No, no, no, no! Me salt, me seasoning! Why? Why?" cried the old man, dropping his fish, grabbing Mullroy's shirt and using it as a rather large, dirty handkerchief. "What will I put on my food? What will I feed me fish?"

"Your fish?" Mullroy asked yanking his shirt out of his grasp. The old man who was now sobbing over his feet, nodded sadly, "Yes, Betsy…" He held up the very dead, very stinky, very old fish that had been slung over his shoulder, "She's such a good girl, never flops around like the other fish…"

Murtogg was busy quickly sweeping the salt back into the sack, running back and forth, chasing the salt from across the road and whacking it into a neat little pile. In his hurry to set things right, the broom was flung high into the air, somersaulted over his head handle first right into the mirror that was being carried across the street. Glass flew and the stunned mirror carriers gaped at the now empty frame they held.

Murtogg gulped, grabbed Mullroy's arm and bolted down the street. Murtogg was bolting backwards to talk to Mullroy and Mullroy was just…bolting. They turned into an alleyway between two buildings hoping the mirror people wouldn't follow.

"What were we talking about?" Murtogg asked jumping backwards over a crate and a soggy puddle.

"Erm…bad news, don't start a letter with it."

"Right, how should we start it?"

"It should start with a nice greeting, something polite and cheerful."

"I've got it! 'Good afternoon kind captain! You'll be pleased to know your ship hasn't crashed into a dock and been scratched twice in one day!'"

"That's lying."

"Pirates are a bad influence on impressionable people such as me."

"Apparently, try again."

"Oh, how about 'Hello, we're fine and'- Mully why'd you stop?" Mullroy was waving at something behind him. "What are you-ooff!" Frump! A backwards crash into something solid put an end to his question.

"He was waving to me."

"Jack Sparrow?" Murtogg gasped his back still facing Jack and added quietly, "The _pirate_?"

"No, the fisherman."

"Must be a mistake then, we only know the pirate."


	43. Shoot!

**Disclaimer: **PotC and it's universe belongs to the mouse, Ted and Terry, and Bruickheimer. Yes, it's been too long. School has started obviously,but that's hardly an excuse. Many thanks to you all for being so patient. Today's "Shipwreck" chapter has someone shouting...

**Shoot!**

"Turn around." Mullroy said making a circular motion with his hand. Murtogg started facing Mullroy, quickly turned a perfect 360 degrees and ended facing Mullroy. Murtogg smiled a bit and said, "Wait, what was the point in that?"

"Patience Angus…patience…" Mullroy muttered to himself closing his eyes. He opened them. Slowly and calmly he instructed Murtogg, "Turn left and stop. Good. Very, good!Turn left and stop."

"Again?"

"Yes."

"Okay…" Murtogg did as he was told, still not seeing what these strange instructions were about, but trusting his mate all the same. He finished his turn and stops and was now face to face with- "Mister-_Captain_ Sparrow! We were just talking about you. I bumped into this very nice person who had your name, but was a fisherman! Isn't that something?"

"Yes, it is indeed, a very peculiar, extraordinary, and unexpected turn of events. Unfortunately, we have more urgent and pressing matters than who you have or never have bumped into." Jack turned and with a wave of his hand the two understood they should follow.

Jack was particularly adept at hand waving having had years of practice to perfect it. He was so proficient at this skill that he could use it even when he didn't need it.It was especially useful for storytelling, distracting, confusing, and entertaining himself or others when ennui fell upon an instance. Oh, and certain hand waves had the strange ability to ward off people in fancy clothes. He had fourteen variations of gestures that meant "follow me" and used gesture number ten. It was one of his simpler and clearer ones.

He held his right arm so that it formed a ninety degree angle with his fingertips pointing skyward and quickly extended it forward until his arm was straight. At the exact same time, his fingers would fold down one by one starting with his pinky until only his index finger and thumb pointed in the desired direction.

The two scurried after him knowing that gesture ten meant "Quickly, follow me". They nervously passed the perplexed broken mirror holders, a sobbing old man with a stinky fish slung over his shoulder, a black cat, a ladder, and a marketplace. Along the way they told Jack about their tale telling and how Snaffoam's scary men shook in their stockings at the very mention of his name.

They were nearing the docks when a familiar shape fluttered over them. Mullroy and Murtogg looked up. Something white fell from the sky and splattered onto Mullroy's shoulder and Murtogg's face. His displeasure was poured thick over his face.

"Ah! Good luck, right?" Mullroy beamed. Murtogg shot him a disbelieving look and slowly shook his head. He pulled a handkerchief out of his pocket and wiped the white away. Mullroy left it on his shoulder and looked at it every few step with an I-can't-believe-my-good-fortune-grin. Murtogg shook his head a bit more and closed his eyes.

"I can't believe he believed me," Murtogg whispered turning towards Jack. Jack amused and curious opened his mouth to reply and—

"SCRAHHHH!" It knocked Jack to the ground, landing on his chest it screeched, scratched, pulled at his dreds, poked at him, "Ow!Oooff!Hey!YOWWW!"

"Should we do something?" whispered Mullroy to Murtogg who was rooted to the spot.

"YES-owff-please-op-ouch!Oi, put that down!" The small furry attacker yanked out Jack's pistol and threw it behind him. It clonked Murtogg on the head landed at Mullroy's feet. Murtogg blinked, "Hey it hit me!" Mullroy picked up the firearm.

"SHOOT IT!" shouted Jack. Mullroy aimed it at the blurry shape, it kept on moving, hopping up and down banging its little arms on Jack's chest or messing with his hair. Mullroy kept on moving his arms trying to aim at the moving monster, up right, left, down, up, circle, and triangle, swish this way, swish that way, put your right foot out. It was a bit like a strange waving arm dance or trying to swat fifteen flies at once.

" I might kill it!"

"It can't be-ooof-mmmph!" Jack spat out his hair. "Bleh-killed!

"That's ridiculous." Murtogg replied.

"Joofahbit-YOWL! No, it -blafoo-isn't!"

"What is it anyway?" Murtogg asked calmly.

"UNDEAD-MOO-sputerfluoff!"

"SCREEYAH!" shrieked the little thing.

"Undead moo? It's a bit small for a cow."

"Monkey, Murtogg, monkey! Be quiet, I can't-."

"See?"

"No, I can't-"

"Smell?"

"Concentrate?"

"Not helping!"

"Shoot the MONKEY!"

"I might kill it!" Mullroy shouted back.

"Don't-_get away you_-care!"

"I might kill _you_!"

"_Fine_," Jack socked the monkey in the face, pulled out his other pistol and BAM! It was instant flying undead monkey. Mullroy hurried forward, handing Jack the pistol he helped him to his feet. Murtogg crouched down and stared at the tiny heap of monkey. Mullroy glanced at the scene, "How did you know it was undead?"

Jack tucked his pistols back in, shrugged and said, "Look." The monkey opened it's eyes, shook it's head, leapt up from the ground, glared at Murtogg, and tensed it's muscles ready to pounce. Murtogg recoiled slightly, looked up at his lucky hat, tore it off his head and covered the monkey with it. Monkey Jack thrashed and flailed under the hat.

"Caught it? Here." Jack tossed him a sack, Murtogg caught it with one hand, the other was held firmly over the hat. He shook open the sack and bagged the monkey. Jack bent over the wiggling sack Murtogg held with two hands, tied it tight with rope, and slung it over his shoulder.

The three walked in silence until Murtogg quietly asked Jack, "How does one become an undead monkey?"

"Wanting to turn monkey yourself are you?"


	44. What Plan?

**Disclaimer:** PotC belongs to the mouse. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Today's edition of "Shipwreck" has Gibbs asking...

**What Plan?**

"Mr. Gibbs," Jack greeted with a nod dropping the wiggling monkey into his arms as he ascended the _Moderation_'s gangplank. Murtogg and Mullroy smiled and waved at Gibbs as they passed by. Gibbs struggled to hold the thrashing creature who was now trying to bite through the canvas sack with its teeth. "What is it?"

Jack stopped mid-swaggering step, swiveled around to face Gibbs, and pointed to his shoulder, "Jack."

"Heh?" Gibbs looked at Jack's shoulder and frowned while scratching his head with one hand and holding the dangling, swinging bag in the other. Jack shook his head, the beads weaved in his hair clinked together, "No, no, no. A little furry monkey named Jack."

"This is the wrong colony for monkeys." Murtogg and Mullroy exchanged glances that clearly asked, "There are colonies for monkeys?" They both shrugged in response to the other's nonverbal question.

"Ah, but that isn't just any monkey-" Jack began.

"I know!" Gibbs exclaimed. "It's a monkey named Jack. Is really a good idea to become so attached to this thing? It doesn't seem very happy in this sack." He held up the partially bitten through, noisy, swinging sack.

"It was more attached to me than I ever will be to it." Jack shook his head again. "You didn't let-"

"You finish?"

"Yes, _I_ didn't name the monkey." Jack pointed to himself. "The monkey was probably named _after_ me."

"And you know this monkey's name how?"

"It's the same blasted monkey that jumped around, hollered at the top it's lungs, and sat like a parrot on his shoulder."

"This wiggling thing?"

"Yes."

"Where'd he come from?"

"The sky. Or maybe that Muerta place where we fought the skellys." Murtogg replied helpfully. "Either way he pounced from the sky."

"And he's precisely what was lacking in our plan." Jack added.

"What plan?"

"The plan in which we have a need for monkey, the parrot, apples, flour and your canteen to bring about the desired effect upon the ship stealers. And a barrel of rum."Jack turned to Murtogg and Mullroy, "How many did you say were on the Pearl?"

"More than twenty?"

"Hm." Jack stared at the ground for a moment in thought. "Make that two barrels of rum." Jack looked at Gibbs feet, then at him. He waved his hands for him to go."Well, go on! Hop to it!"

"What are we doing? What's the plan?"

"You are to tell the crew we have a plan for getting ready for the plan. That is to obtain said objects and animals and to have Murtogg and Mullroy run back to the Pearl in terror."

"But what's the plan?" Gibbs said.

"Yes and why must we run back in terror?" Mullroy asked.

"You must run back in terror because you've just seen a monkey that leapt back up after you saw someone shoot it at close range- a sure sign of ill fortune for a ship haunted by a cursed past."

"And we wait there?" Murtogg confirmed.

"Aye and you wait." Jack said seriously. "It's far too dangerous to leave on a ship with such things hovering over it…on its death day."

"Death day?" Gibbs said uncertainly. Jack studied him for a moment trying to find out whether Gibbs truly didn't understand what he was doing.

"You of all people should know that how a story is told makes all the difference." Jack sighed, "Yes, death day, catastrophe, however you want to put it-today will be the anniversary of some horrible event."

"You want us to lie." Mullroy rephrased.

"No. I want you…" Jack smiled, "to tell a story. If they choose to believe you…all the better for us."

He let his words sink in. Murtogg and Mullroy considered them in silence. They turned their heads to read the other's expression and nodded to Jack taking his words as they would an official order from the Admiral of the Fleet himself.

--

Author's Note: The last thing Mullroy says is a reflection of what the two think. So far, they haven't done anything truly pirate. In the parley chapter, they were trying to get out of the brig. The stories they told to the ship stealers were just that to them, they didn't think of it as lying. Now, when they go back they have to hide the fact that they know of plan, that they are part of a plan. Their first-to them- truly pirate act. And don't worry though these last chapters were a bit lackng in the humor department I do intend to fix that.

Ta! Meowbooks


	45. Itchytwichy

**Disclaimer:** Aye, 'tis true! I'm not the owner of PotC. Everything but Snaffoam, the Charleston boys and the writing is Disney's.Today's edition was inspired by writer's block...

**Itchy-twichy**

Murtogg and Mullroy were crouched behind some cargo, peering at the Pearl and Snaffoam's crew who were just as, if not grimier than when they had left them. Griminess on a person who was grimy to begin with is very difficult to measure so they weren't exactly sure. The two turned and sat with their backs facing a wall of crates. Murtogg bit his lip and drummed his hands on the ground. Mullroy had his face scrunched up in concentration trying to figure out what running in terror looked like-or could look like. Murtogg looked hopefully at him, "Have you thought of anything?"

"Of course…just not anything that helps."

"Tell me anyway."

"Um," Mullroy shrugged. "I miss being clean…"

"Oh." Murtogg rested his head against a crate. "Me too."

Mullroy shifted a bit trying to get to a comfortable spot on the ground. "What about you?"

"I thought about it for minute…Then, I wondered if Norrington's wigs are itchier than our formal dress wigs."

"Ah." Mullroy frowned, nodded and leaned on a crate. He blinked and tilted his head slightly to stare at his shoes. His eyes widened, he sat up straighter and grinned.

"Mully, that's it!"

"What is?"

"Itchiness!" Murtogg said excitably. Mullroy caught it quickly, "That's perfect! On three.One…two...THREE!"

They jumped up and started running towards the Pearl's gangplank, scratching their heads, arms, and necks. They ran around in circles up the gangplank doing this strange thing, muttering to themselves, their eyes wide. Murtogg dived head first behind the barrels on deck and Mullroy dove in right after.

Martin the mop maker and the other crewmembers on deck scurried after them, bewildered look on their faces. They looked to each other questioningly, and then peered behind the barrels at them saying:

"Muddog?What's wrong?"

"You two alright?"

"Wha' went on?"

"Hook and crook, look at the fright on 'em!"

"What is it, Milly?"

Mullroy resisted the urge to stop the Milly business, cast darting looks around and whispered, "M-m-monkey…"

"What?" Martin asked. Murtogg sat dead still and stiff, eyes wide and said, "Boom."

"Boom? What boom?"

"M-monkey!" squeaked Mullroy. "It-it-it…"

"It what? Monkey what?" Murtogg unblinking, quietly and unmoving said, "Boom."

" NO! No boom! Stop-stop-" Mullroy started swatting at invisible some things. The mop maker shook him by his shoulders, "No boom-boom here! No boom-boom here!"

Murtogg snickered at that, he froze a second catching himself, an idea clicked in his head. He grinned a grand grin, the snicker turned into a girlish giggle and the giggle turned into a donkey-like"hah-hah", and into "hehehehe" and he was rolling on the deck.

"He's gone chicken!" shouted Skinny Man.

Martin the mop maker put his hands directly in front of "Milly's" face and clapped loudly. Murtogg stopped laughing, sat up, gave his head a wiggle, blinked and said, "What's going on?" Mullroy gave a theatrical jerk and looked around questioningly, "How'd we get here?"

"Ye mean ye lot don't know? You were scratching and ignoring us and running like chickens!"

"Giggling at nuthin'!"

"Sitting still and saying nonsense!"

_Thank you, Mr.Norrington's wig,_ thought Murtogg. The two sat and listened for a few minutes in amusement. Everyone described in exaggerated detail what they had done. They made sure to give I-have-no-idea-what-you-are-talking-about-looks and I-did-not-squawk-like-a-creepy-demented-chicken looks. Mullroy spoke up, "What day is it?"

When his question was answered Murtogg gasped and had another wide eyed, mouth gaping look, he dove back behind the barrels and pulled the cloth that covered them over his head. "The death day! Today is the day the beast came to this very ship and-and…It is called the death day for a reason, a reason that concerns death! That reason I will not speak about because…because I just don't want to! But the fact that today is today means what happened this morning is all the more-erm-bad! Yes, bad!"

Mullroy nodded seriously saying, "I remember now...We saw a magical monkey, it fell down from the sky!" He made a large hand motion towards the sky and fluttered his hands. "It shrieked banana wanting cries! It had teeth and claws-"

"And an itch," Murtogg horrified, beneath his cloth cover shrieked, "Itch, itch? ITCH! It gave us the Itchy-twitchy!"

The crew drew back. Mullroy shook his head, and waved his hand reassuringly. "No, you can't catch the Itchy-twitchy." They inched forward. "But it is not a good sign." They inched back. "It means, it means…" They leaned closer to hear. "what it means…"

"What is the means that it means?" asked Skinny Man.

"That it isn't a good sign."

"Yes, but what is it a bad sign of?"

Murtogg mumbled from underneath the cloth, "Mis-mis-fortune!"

"It's bad for misfortune or a sign of misfortune?"

"Yes to the sign." Mullroy clarified pulling Murtogg out from his hiding place.

"What can be done to ward off such evil?"

"Eat an apple, sing a happy song, turn around three times, beware of flying pigs and hide all firearms and blades aboard in a water- tight barrel." The crew flew off in different directions snatching up apples, singing off key, turning, and ducking lest flying pigs should swoop, and trying to find every last pistol and sharp pointy blades aboard. Until, at last Murtogg and Mullroy were alone on deck. Murtogg frowned,

"Mr. Sparrow never said to do that."

"He never said not to. Now, let's tell Snaffoam!" Mullroy whispered heading towards the great cabin.Murtogg scurried after him.

"I want to be the one to say 'magical monkey' this time…"


	46. It Began

**It Began**

Night had fallen once more as nights tend to do. They're a clumsy sort of thing to be falling so often, but that's just the way it is. So, yes, it was dark and you could see the pretty stars and the moon was full. The usual "oh nothing could happen on such a night-even if it's a death day" thought crossed the ship stealers' minds.

They had done everything that Miller had asked- right to the letter. I'm not sure which letter though. It might've been an "A" or a "B" or even a "U". The important thing is they felt everything was fine and dandy. Until, that is a floating something drifted over the Black Pearl.

It was pale, floating, and waving it's arms up and down excitably. It floated over their heads. It weaved through the rigging, the lone pirate in the crow's nest shrunk small as can be, gazing stupefied at the apparition. When it passed to float near the bowsprit the one in the crow's nest gathered his wits that had spilled out in his bewilderment. He rose to his feet, peeked his head out, and shouted to the men on deck.

"PIRATES!"

"Eh? Sssh! Don't be leading them to us!"

"Noooo, look!" He extended one arm to point towards the white thing that had perched itself on the top of the bowsprit. The men on deck just laughed it off. Skinny Man was about to go back to talking when, "YOWL!"

Something had been thrown at his head and he bent down to pick it up. It was an apple. He swirled around in that direction to shout at the culprit. Instead of seeing someone giggling, he saw a shirt, flapping its sleeves, up and down, up and down horribly. "AHHH!"

A whiskered one at his side shook his head and said, "Heh. It's just some shirt caught on the bowsprit, Skinny."

The pale thing shifted a bit and in reply said, "DEAD MAN TELL NO TALES! BRAWK! HAHAHA!" It leapt off the tip of the bowsprit and swooped near their heads. It climbed higher and began diving and twirling laughing menacingly just like a plate of vegetables when you're forced to eat it. The crew began crying out in horror and running below deck.

"It's an unwashed garment that was lost! Now it's come to seek revenge for it's stench!"

Murtogg and Mullroy heard the commotion and scurried on deck. They gazed at the flying shirt and listened to it squawk ominously. Murtogg searched his mind. That squawk sounded awfully familiar. "Who does that sound like to you?"

"His name is," Mullroy took a deep breath and whispered, "The All Knowing, Fearless, Courageous, Noble, Kind, Protector of the Black Pearl, Official Speaker for Mr. Cotton, the most colorful seafaring parrot-"

"Percy…"

"No," Mullroy corrected, "Percival Parry Cotton."

Skinny Man sighted the two, the crew and he ran towards them and pleaded, "What can be done?"

Murtogg said, "We must throw the weapon barrel on land!" They rolled the barrel down the gangplank and it crashed into some crates. Still, the shirt shouted and swooped above their heads. A canteen flew through the air, landing on the deck, with a clatter. The crew's attention was drawn to it, Skinny Man picked it up.Then… a screech, a furious, howl of death, and –

"THE MAGICAL MONKEY THAT FELL FROM THE SKY!" he shrieked running around in circles chased by said monkey. "Shoot it! Shoot it! Shoot it!"

Everyone reached towards their belts, then searched frantically. "We can't-no guns!" They shouted helplessly. Martin the mop-maker put it another way, "No boom-boom! No boom-boom!"

"What's all this?" Snaffoam asked throwing the cabin door open. He looked at the flying shirt, then at the monkey. The monkey was jumping up and down on Skinny's head trying on his hat, messing up his hair, and shrieking loud. Blake Snaffoam III pulled out his pistol. It was the last one aboard. He aimed, cocked his pistol, squeezed and- instantly outraged undead monkey. It leapt from Skinny's head to Snaffoam's arm, grabbed his pistol and chucked it into the water before attacking his glasses.

And so it began…


	47. Part Two

**Disclaimer:** Mouse and Bruickheimer owns PotC. Welcome to today's edition of Shipwreck...

**Part Two**

The magic monkey tore at Snaffoam's coat buttons, pulled at his hair, screeched and wagged his monkey tail. The crew took oars and tried to pry him off, the monkey held tight, snarling. The ghostly shirt boomed as it swooped and dived, "No Quarter! No skinny coconut trees! Brawk!" he added, "HAHAHAHAH! Ye never see light o' day 'board this cursed ship again!"

The moonlight broke through the clouds casting a ghostly glow over the ship. Skinny pointed a shaky finger towards the magical monkey that had fallen from the sky.The moonlight peeled away its fur, tore his tiny clothes into tatters, and left a rotting, snarling, glasses-wearing monkey in it's place.

"Ac-cro-ymns...Ac-cro-ymns!"bodiless voices surrounded the Snaffoam's crew. "Ac-cro-ymns…_"_ That word. That word, what had Milly and Muddog said? _"Afflicted with acronyms…the worst imaginable they are…"_

The song continued it's low, staccato, chant of the word, and other voices joined in, "_Do you fear, do you quiver, in your boots as they slither, closer, closer they do come…Ac-cro-ynms!Whoo-oo!Ahhh! BASS!"_

_"_Ye thought ye could get away with stealing it!" Drenched, raven black hair, eyes bright with anger, a woman stormed on deck, advancing the crew members forcing them to walk backwards towards starboard as she barked orders, "Get to work, swab these decks, mend those scratches, don't gape at me like squished grapes!"

The voices shouted it again, "_BASS! BASS! BASS! Bossiness and sssh-shouting syndrome!"_

"Did ya not hear me? Stop staring! Work, work, work!" Pale, chalky white figures climbed aboard, hair to shoes-all death white, carrying mops and brooms, following, obeying.

The voices continued, "_Acronyms! Acronyms! Acronyms! RAT! RAT! Random Apple Throwing!"_

One fruit flopped through the air. There was silence then the voices started up again, "_Keep going! Keep going! Err..rat, rat, rat, random apple…throwing…Ummm, rat, rat, random throwing-undead…Random apple throwing!"_

"Yer still not working!You pick up that apple, turn off that moonlight, someone get the monkey a PINEAPPLE!"

"Brawk! APPLES! APPLES!"

"_Keep going, keep stall-going!Keep going, rat, rat ,rat!"_

"No one's getting a Pinapple!"Three or four more apples flopped through the air. One bounced off a rail another plopped into the water, and one hesitantly rolled on deck.

"OLIVER IF YOU DON'T GET HERE IN ONE-"

Oliver chucked apples aboard, and then ran to them, apologizing tearfully and kissing each bruise on them. Skinny shrunk back in fear, "Ack! Sudden apple hating denial!" The crew turned once again to Muddog and Milly hoping…Their eyes widened.

"I love-no I HATE apples! You pick up that apple!"Muddog said shoving Milly away. Milly crossed his arms, "You pick up that apple! I'm not touching that apple!"

"Oh really? Well Mr. Bossy, I hate apples more than you." He stuck his tongue out. Then swept the apple up, petting it, and hugging it.

"What should we do skinny?" gulped a ship-stealer, "Muddog and Milly are-are-" He stopped as the ghostly voices grew surrounding the thrice petrified ship-stealers, louder, and louder forming the sound, "_Whoo…Ahhh! S-A-H-D and RAT! Sudden-apple –hating-denial-and, and_" They collectively gasped for breath, "_Random Apple Throwing!_"

Up the gangplank burst more of the former occupants of the Black Pearl, hurling apples, the apple thrower's mood changed and they too ran to the apples, apologetically pleading for forgiveness, and then suddenly flinging them away.

"NO!" shouted Skinny "Please, acronym afflicted ones! What will it take for us to be free of you!"

The shouting and the squawking ceased. All evil eyes were upon him. (Except Murtogg and Mullroy who each had feigned fainting after being hit in the head with an apple and the monkey who was snarling) Together they said hissed,"_Leave…leave…spin three times, act like a squirrel, run around like you're being chased by banana and LEAVE!"_

"Yes, yes, oh afflicted ones we shall!" He turned and nodded to his fellow ship-stealers.They spun, shirked, "It's a giant banana! A banana! BANANA!" Then, and only then did the afflicted ones let them pass. Silence.

The successful pirates looked awkwardly around, covered in apple peels, flour, and-"BLEK! PERCY!" -it would now appear…bird droppings. Jack popped his head out of a barrel, broke into triumphant smile, climbed out of the barrel and brushed himself off. The hidden makeshift choir revealed themselves, pushing aside canvas, climbing out of crates, tumbling out of luggage and grumbling.

"Excellent work, sopranos!"

"Heh? WHAT?"

Jack cleared his throat, "Excellent work, gents!"

"Oh…" said the anonymous choir members stretching and yawning. Jack clapped his hands together. "Aye, we didn't pull out all our tricks, but it was ultimately effective none the less. Mr. Gibbs!"

"Aye?"

"I do believe celebrations are in order. Bring in the rum!"


	48. He's Okay!

**He's Okay!**

At the sight of Charlie and Oliver still sniffling over the apples strewn across the deck, Jon felt it was his duty to alert them to the fact that they had had the ship back for three hours and that the ship stealers were gone. He tapped them on the shoulders, "You can stop now…"

"But-but-but-they're hurt!" whined Oliver gathering a few closer and giving them reassuring hugs.

"I'm sorry. I'm very, very, sorry delicious ones…" Charlie whispered to his neat rows of bandaged apples.

"It's been _three_ hours of apologizing and giving apples salt water baths! Be _happy_!" Jon sighed.

"Oh, we know they forgive us." That's why we have to treat them right-being war heroes and all."

"Oh, feather dusters…"Jon groaned walking away, rolling his eyes.Percy was perched on Cotton's shoulder, "DROP ANCHOR JONATHAN GREEN! BRAWK!"

"La,la,lalooey!" Jon shouted, covering his ears, still walking,"Lala-whoa!" One step, one rolling apple, and the world tilted. Percy shot up, zoomed in on Mr.Gibbs who was carrying a bag of flour back aboard, dived down, bit him on the ear, the sack crashed to the deck sending clouds, in the middle of them a soft thump was heard.

There were coughs, shouts of confusion, and hands waving to clear the smoke. When it did clear it was a sight: Jack sticking out his tongue to rid it of the taste of flour, Gibbs rubbing his ear, Charlie and Oliver blowing the flour off each and every apple, Ana gazing into her mug of flour, and Marty putting out a hand to catch it like snow.

Jon lay stunned on the bag of flour that had saved him from the fall. He sat up, blinked, and was doubly stunned to see that Charlie and Oliver had separated themselves from their apples to help him up.

"Do you want an apple?" offered Oliver. "Are you alright?" Jon blinked again and shook his head to clear it. He looked around as if seeing it for the first time. He flung himself on the ground.

"O All Knowing One, please forgive me for not heeding your thoughtful, considerate, and selfless words of foresight!"

Oliver smiled, "He's okay!"


	49. Captain

**Disclaimer:**Mouse and men own PotC. I've been wanting to do this chapter for a very, very, long time, but I knew it couldn't come until now. I present to you...

**Captain**

"Anamaria…Miss Ana…" she rolled over in her hammock mumbling incoherently, it was probably a go-away-or I'll throw-a-parrot-at-you-I'm-exhausted mumble or possibly I'm-pretending-to-be-asleep-because-you-annoy-me-mumble. The voice called again and she pulled her hat over her face, eyes stubbornly shut. The hammock rocked slightly as whoever it was tried to nudge her awake. The rocking grew harder and she had to grip the fabric.

"Ah, gents? Let's not agitate the woman of the hour..." The rocking stopped. Ana closed her eyes tighter at the sound of Jack's voice. Suddenly, the foul, overpowering, stench of breath overwhelmed her, "Oy, let's not let the sand bury the sleeping sailor!" Her closed eyes began to water, her mouth scrunched into a frown, and she shuddered as the rum soaked, slept in a muddy pig inhabited, flour tinged, old hardtack smell blasted her. Finally, she could take it no longer and a loud sound filled the crew's quarters. FWAP!

Jack held a hand to his cheek, and moved his jaw around to confirm it was properly attached.

"He-he-he didn't deserve…" Mullroy wisely didn't finish his sentence.

"That's not fair!" FWAP! Unfortunately, Murtogg did.

"Ah, good! You're awake." Jack pulled a long strip of cloth from his pocket and shook it out. "Now, if you please. Turn around."

"No."

"Trust me." Ana folded her arms and glared. "Alright, trust _him_." He waved towards Jon who was smoothing out the All Knowing One's feathers. Jack coughed. Jon looked up, "Yes, holder of the Black Pearl's captaincy?"

"Ah-hem." Jack waved the strip of cloth around. Jon stared. The All Knowing One squawked, "Preet-tee bird!Pwetty bird!"

"It is as the all knowing one has said."

"Meaning?"

"Your safety and well being are in no way endangered by what is to come. You have my word and honor as-"

"I get it!" Jack proceeded to tie the cloth over her eyes. "If this is a trick…"

"You are free to slap me as many times as you please."

"I'll hold you to it."

"Naturally."Jack guided up her up the ladder, across the ship, and down the gangplank. She could hear many footsteps behind her, people talking, and the sound of cargo being lifted into holds. _Docks._ She didn't quite like the feeling of not knowing where she was going. The fact that Jack was humming that song didn't help.

"Yo-ho, yo ho..mmmm…Watch your feet.Up!"

"I'm not a-oof!" she stumbled and Jack helped her up, "a child…" The familiar upward slant and loss of solid ground beneath her feet indicated a ramp-no another gangplank.

"Anamaria," He turned her around and untied the cloth. Murtogg pulled a long coat over her shoulders. "The ship formally known as the _Moderation_ is yours. Call it what you will." Mullroy lifted a large hat with a fancy feather and held it out to her.

"Mine?"she said weakly, staring at the hat and the ship. A ship. A true ship in it's own right and it was-"This is that woman's ship. You're not borrowing without-"

"Bartered and paid in full."

_Ah, so that's what they were talking about…_thought Charlie.

"Now, any of you were wanting a new captain...Everyone else…Be back at the Pearl by sunset." Jack removed his hat with a flourish and bowed to Ana, "Captain." He turned and proceeded to descend the gangplank.

"Wait!" he turned and said quietly and quite unlike himself, "Aye?"

"Good luck."


	50. The Charleston Boys

**Disclaimer:** Charlie, Oliver, and Jonathan are mine dears, but all other characters belong to the mouse and Bruickheimer. Today's edition features...

**The Charleston Boys**

"AHHHH! Help! Help! I can't swim!" moaned Charlie a bit over the top splashing behind painted wood pieces that stood in for the sea.

"CHARLIE, DON'T DIE!"cried Oliver sobbing over the side of the four foot long merchant ship. "Oh no, I can't swim! Who shall save you?"That was Jonathan Green's cue. He arrived bedecked in a fancy round feathered hat, scarlet waistcoat, and a wooden cutlass at his side.

"I shall pluck thee from thy watery grave for I think it not fair for youth to die!" quoth Jon. He dived from the rigging into the painted sea scenery, scooped up Charlie, swam back to the merchant ship, climbed up the side and the two fell on deck coughing.

"Oh…I'm alive!" Charlie cheered standing up. Oliver ran to him, gae him a hearty hug, and presented Jon a gift, "The golden apple is yours for you are truly the fairest and bravest."

Jon shook his head, "No, no! I can't deceive you good people any longer…My wisdom and bravery came from another."

"Who?" Oliver said astounded. Jon bowed his head in shame, "The humblest and wisest of all creatures." He looked skyward. "The All Knowing One!"

Percy swooped down and regally perched himself on Jon's shoulder. "You have redeemed yourself, Green." He softly added a squawk to the sentence. The makeshift choir from the previous night sang a triumphant "THE END". The curtain dropped, hiding the actors from sight or more accurately Murtogg accidentally dropped his end of a sail on them.

"Argh! Ye slack-jawed, clumsy tar of a egg-brain!"

"That's not in the play!"

"Who turned off my eyes?"

"Charlie? Charlie? Ouch! He bit me! The bird-"

"How _dare_ you insult the All-"

"Shut it, Jon!"

"-Knowing One? You shall pay for your-"

"No really, who told my eyes to stop seeing? I'm not sleepy yet!"

"-ill mannered besmirching of his character-"

"I said SHUT IT, JON!"

"…and they say when the green flash is seen a soul is-Avast ye landlubbers!"

"Your eyes are fine, Charlie."

"Ollie? Where are you? I'm scared."

"Oops, sorry about that." Murtogg said dragging the heavy canvas off the actors and irritated bird. Charlie happily shouted he could see before Oliver pounced knocking him and Jon down. Oliver grabbed at the air above his head, trying to reach the mean, apple seed spitting bird. Percy screeched angrily at him, flapping his wings, and staying just out of reach. "You-you-flying rat! You-bit-me!"

"Bring out the cat! Bring out the cat! There's a mutineer!"

"Flying rat? You churl! You shall pay! I shall defend your honor, Protector of the Black Pearl!" Jon cried drawing his wooden cutlass and tossing his hat aside. He gripped the hilt raised his arms, charged forward, and brought it down, but found his hands empty. He looked around wanting to see who was preventing him from serving the All Knowing One.

"This won't be necessary." Jack assured him. He observed Oliver and Percy's peck and swipe match. "Mr. Cotton's Parrot!" Percy fluttered higher and faced Jack. "Apologize to Mr. Wainwright." Percy blinked. "You know who I mean."

"Won't! Won't!"

"Don't be ridiculous.Apologize." Jack realized what the bird had said, "Wait-what?"

"Callin' me a rat? I ain't apologizing for that!" Jack stared at the bird."What's going on here?"

"We've tutored the All Knowing One in the finer aspects of human verbal communications and articulation."

"We were teaching him to talk!" added Charlie. "It's like magic! He never used it before."

"Ah, well then, I think it's best you put your new found talent to good use. Apologize."

"I'm sorry-your gold's in the chest! Fifteen men on a dead man's chest, yo ho ho and a-"

"-bottle o' RUM!" grinned Gibbs. Everyone stopped, groaned and rolled their eyes. Jack shook his head and dismissed Percy with a nod. He turned to the three boys and clapped. "Wonderful play, if I had had to pay for it-"

"You would have?" said Charlie already thinking about his possible future and retiring from piracy altogether. Visions of apples danced in his head, green ones, yellow ones, dancing ones, dipped in chocolate or caramel or served with waffles or a fajita! Though, the truth is he didn't know what a fajita was. He thought it sounded interesting, but wasn't sure it existed yet. At that thought, he felt he would've liked an apple with a crepe as well or maybe…

"No, I would've snuck in." said Jack a bit taken back at the dreamy expression Charlie was looking at him with. Charlie shook his head and blinked, "What?"

"It was a compliment." said Jon. "And that concludes our final show!" The three Charleston boys bowed. Jack clapped his hands together and Murtogg and Mullroy soon followed suit. Gibbs raised his canteen. Marty raised a bottle and Ana Maria, now a visiting Captain on the Black Pearl reluctantly clapped. Charlie and Oliver went down the row of watchers shaking their hands.

"Good bye,Captain! Good bye, Mr. Gibbs! Good bye, Marty and Captain Ana and Mr. Cotton and Percy and Jon!" The two turned and-

"Wait!" said Charlie suddenly remembering. "Jon, come on then. We're here-Charleston!"

Jon looked at his feet."I'm not going."

"You have to come!" insisted Oliver. Jon looked at Percy, then back at Oliver and Charlie's expectant faces.

"Percy.Oh…" Charlie frowned. He looked down, and then quickly gave Jon a hug. "Good bye then…"

"It's been an honor." Oliver said holding out his hand. They shook hands and Charlie and Oliver slowly made their way off the ship, hoping, sneaking glances over their shoulders. Jon waved weakly. Jack drummed his hands on the barrel he was leaning on, "You're not leaving them all alone, are you?"

Jon looked at Jack. "Them. Alone. Are you mad?" Jon grabbed his sack, "Farewell! All Knowing One, um-pirates!"

"May the wind be in yer sails!" squawked Percy. Jack smiled, "That actually made sense."


	51. The Legend

**Disclaimer: **Murtogg and Mullroy and everyone, but the lieutenant do not belong to me. This is it, the last one. I'd like to thank all of my reviews and readers. Especially IceStar4621who has stuck with this story since the beginning. I bring you...

**The Legend**

"Ana," Jack held out his hand. Ana hesitated, and then shook his hand and saying, "Captain." Jack grinned knowing she'd probably never say that again. Ana drew herself up and nodded in farewell. She swerved around. "You two hurry before I change my mind."

"Aye, aye, Captain," promised Murtogg and Mullroy smiling pleasantly at her sharp look, before she walked off to her ship. The three watched in silence for a moment. Jack was quite amused, "How'd you convince her?"

"We said if we didn't get back to Port Royal we'd wind up in Tortuga." explained Mullroy. "She said Tortuga didn't need to be blow to bits."

"Adieu, gentlemen and the best of luck!" Murtogg and Mullroy snapped to attention with learned precision and saluted their pirate captain farewell.

_Port Royal, Jamaica…_

"Ah, lost storytellers!" greeted a lieutenant to the recently reclaimed marines. The two grinned, and deviated from their patrol route to speak with him. "Lieutenant Naran!"

"Where have you been?" the lieutenant waved away their attempt to salute him, "We've missed the stories. Why, I'd half given up on you two."

"Well, the _Faithful_ was wrecked y'know…"smiled Mullroy leaning his rifle against a brick wall.

"Of course, when did you get back?"

"Yesterday." answered Murtogg.

"They don't give you guys a break do they?" Naran shook his head knowing all too well."You heard about the latest on Sparrow haven't you?" Alarmed and hoping it wasn't anything bad the two shook their heads. "No? You have been gone. They say that Sparrow was wrecked on an island and was picked up by a naval ship-" Murtogg and Mullroy exchanged glances. "-and that he converted every single one of them to piracy, right then and there-even the Captain!"

Murtogg grinned saying, "Oh, we met two of those officers…"

"You did?"

"Audacious Angus Miller and Jumping Joe Muddog, in Charleston," added Mullroy. They proceeded to tell Naran of all the things Miller and Joe had done. How after converting to piracy they outwitted a whole ship stealing crew having been trained by Jack Sparrow himself in the art of thievery and trickery, taking _their_ ship and adding to their Captain Sparrow's fleet and doing all sorts of things. Mullroy said, "…and they helped Sparrow raise the dead to reclaim the Black Pearl, afflicted the pirates who had murdered an entire village with the Itchy Twitchy curse, apple hating denial, and the urge to worship parrots!"

Naran drank in the whole story with silent appreciation until Murtogg said, "…after the two spoke to us they tried to get us to turn pirate!" The lieutenant laughed, "You two are good, that's one definitely worth telling." He began walking away, laughing and shaking his head. "Hehe. Murtogg and Mullroy turning pirate…"

"We should tell them what actually happened." said Mullroy conspiratorially. The two picked up their rifles and resumed the patrol."No, no, let's tell them what Muddog and Miller did!"

"Either way, I'm going to enjoy it…"


End file.
